Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Finding my way





I spent years trying to live the white picket fence dream; children, husband, house, successful career. Though I had it all, I could never escape a feeling of painful emptiness. Don't get me wrong, my children have been my greatest blessing, my career amazing, and my husband was a good man. Though I was grateful for what I had, I knew from somewhere deep in my soul that something was missing...

I continued to aimlessly flounder through the days until my life took an unexpected turn. Illness forced me to leave a job that I not only loved, but it gave me an identity and financial security. Following that, my daughter, husband, and brother died. And because I was still so sick, I couldn't manage taking care of my home anymore, so I was forced to let that go too. A lot of letting go, a lot of grief, suffering, fear, uncertainty...

I had no choice but to let myself fall again and again into a dark abyss. Seemed like I would begin to crawl out only to fall back in again. I couldn't get my footing. All sense of safety was gone. I was powerless to do anything but surrender. But somewhere in the darkness, I feel in love with God, the healing process, and a life that fulfilled my soul...

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For women who are interested in learning about "A Course in Miracles",