Friday, October 24, 2014

Sitting in the emptiness

It's been awhile since I have posted so I have some catching up to do. First of all, I am in process of selling my place and buying a new one. Seven years ago I sold my home and joined condo living. What a freeing and peaceful experience that's been. But now I'm ready to move into a home again.
It was an adjustment at first, learning to live in a condo. I eventually did and I grew to love it. Now I will have to adjust to having more space and more responsibility that comes with a home.
What I want to share are things I am learning through this process of change. Part of the change has been sorting through and letting go of STUFF I don't want to take with me.. (photos, my books, artwork, craft supplies...). The rest of my possessions have been in storage for over a month so my condo is pretty empty except for basic things (bed, couch, clothing...). Surprisingly, I like the feeling of less...the emptiness.
Life has a way of bringing about change when it's time for us to release and let go. It obviously been my time for releasing people in my life because the Universe did a major sweep through my world, leaving me with what feels like a half-empty life. Several meaningful friendships have fallen apart this over the past year. I have spent a lot of time in shock, denial, and hurt before I could even faintly begin to find any acceptance or peace about what occurred.
 So here I sit in my half-empty house with what feels like my half-empty life... It's not a comfortable place, but my intuition tells me to trust it is GOOD. The emptiness is gifting me with a TRUTH which is this: it is in the emptiness that I am beginning to get glimpses of something that I have always wanted...connection, simplicity, honesty, and authenticity. I feel the aloneness but not loneliness. All the things I have spent my life chasing, trying to fill the hole in me, isn't an option anymore. It hasn't worked and it never will. In the emptiness, I get a sense of what is real and meaningful.
FYI- I wrote this a few months ago. I'm settled in my new home and love it. Still sitting in the emptiness...trusting the process...