Healing codependency

Overcoming codependency can be a painful process as well as freeing. The past few years has been a lot of letting go for me. Letting go of attachment to things, situations, and people. I used to find things that would deflect my pain (emotional and physical) But nothing works anymore. I can’t deflect, ignore or stuff down feelings. It feels like a crucifixion of sorts. Reminds me of Jesus going through tremendous pain on the cross, but on the other side of the pain, He rose. And so can we. Though letting go is uncomfortable, it’s the path to freedom…

Life lessons

We all get life lessons, whether we choose to acknowledge them or not. If we ignore them, I can promise you that they will continue to reappear. Some people think they have bad luck, but that's not really true. What they see as bad luck is actually the lesson they've been ignoring, popping back up again.

Remember that lessons are gifts meant to enrich our lives by teaching us things such as forgiveness (especially for ourselves), making better choices, learning to love ourselves so we can love others more purely, and sometimes our lessons force us into dealing with the emotional baggage we think we have cleverly buried from sight.

No more secrets

 

No one likes to talk about addiction or alcoholism.... It's a messy, shameful topic, but nonetheless, but most of us have been affected by this disease in some way or another, whether we want to admit it or not.

I'm grateful that I am able to tell my story today without shame and can use my experiences to help others... I'm grateful that I don't subscribe to secrets... Secrets are the cause of shame... I'm also grateful for recovery programs like AA and Al-Anon... They not only changed my life, but saved it... This disease doesn't discriminate... It doesn't care where you live, what kind of car you drive, or what your degrees are... And for those who have family members with addictions, it doesn't matter how much you love or try to help them, you are powerless. Having lost a child to this disease, I know this to be true...

I want to end by saying that this not just about addiction today... I'm also bringing to the light that it is our tendency to hide whatever we don't want the world to see... We pretend to be okay, while we silently carry the burden of pain, fear, unworthiness, loneliness, guilt, shame... If we don't deal with our issues, we are forced to wear a mask... I did that most of my life. And I can tell you that it was more painful than telling the truth...

Heart wide open

 

Self-will versus God's will

 

 How do we know the difference between self-will and God's will? Self-will/ego can be tricky. It can even disguise itself as being spiritual. I certainly have fallen for ego's convincing behavior many times, but what I have learned is that God's will comes from a place deep in our soul. Ego is of the mind. If the inner voice is loud and pushy, it's self-will. God's voice is quiet, kind, never controlling. 

A soulful life

 We all have an ego but some ego's are louder than others. The more we engage with it, the more it talks. What if, just for today, you didn't listen to it. Instead you search what your heart and soul desires...

Letting go

Letting go of people we love is not easy. I recently lost my partner of 25 years.

Because he was older than me, I expected that one day I would be facing myself on a deeper level than ever before. No holding on. No hiding behind. Just a void that can't be filled with anything except God and my authentic self. It has been 2 months since his heart gave out but as for me, my heart continues to beat. Adjusting to a new quietness. Feeling hopeful about the future and grateful for all the beautiful memories I will carry forward. 

How recovery can heal loneliness

 

There were years that I felt very lonely, especially in my teen years. No matter what I did, I couldn’t make that feeling go away so I suffered in silence. I didn’t even tell my best friend or any of my family how I felt. It was my painful secret. It wasn’t until I found recovery that I began to feel a sense of belonging. Imagine my surprise when I heard people sharing things in meetings that I could relate to. They spoke in a language I understood. Feeling that sense of belonging though, took time. I had a lot of work to do, especially when it came to shame and self hatred. But what I know to be true today is that all things can be healed with the help of the program and God. Will be internally grateful that recovery gave me a life more beautiful than I could’ve ever imagined.

Soulful words

 

Simple but deep words

Picture yourself as….

 

Peace and Serenity

Peace and serenity come from accepting things as they are, not as we want them to be. In other words, we learn to trust our Higher Power enough to surrender to His wisdom. This has not been an easy thing for me to do, but when pain becomes my teacher, I will let go of control.

Empathy

Because our emotions rise from “self”, we think compassion/love is a feeling. However, compassion doesn’t have a feeling. I would describe it as quiet and kind. If we feel a surge of emotions towards a situation, it’s because we are being triggered. Being triggered means we have a wound that we haven’t addressed yet.

Trusting our lessons

Everyone that shows up in your life is a gift. You may not always like the package that the gift comes in, but nonetheless, every person has something valuable to teach you, otherwise they wouldn’t be here. Rather than make others wrong, you can ask yourself “What am I to learn from this experience”?

Love to create