Monday, November 26, 2012

Having healthy relationships

 
 My friend Meg, with her daughter and granddaughter Melissa and Lily.
Visiting family on the other coast, complete with new baby Nicolas.

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 Without relationships, our hearts would wither. I'm not claiming to be a relationship expert,
but there are some fundamental things I've practiced with good success, which may be helpful.
Here are some:

Relationships should nourish, as well as, challenge you.
 
Be honest with your words.

Beware!!! It may get a little messy when you stop people-pleasing.

But messy is underrated. In the long run, it builds intimacy.

I'll let you in on a secret. Put my partner and I in a car together, we resort to acting like
five-year-old siblings. Our road trips entail a lot of harmless childish bickering and finger
   pointing. It's healthy for us to be free to play as children do, with each other.

Don't agree with someone to make them happy unless you want to lose their respect.

Be vulnerable. It's your most endearing asset.

Choose healthy people to have relationships with. You will then avoid unnecessary injury to
yourself later. Also, pick people you already like; then you won't feel a need to change them.

Give those you love, lots of room for error. Keep your heart soft and forgiving.

And most importantly, love yourself first.

*****
 

Our deepest wishes are whispers of our authentic selves.
We must learn to respect them.
We must learn to listen.

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach ~
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"I will express myself with graceful honesty"
 

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