Being honest with yourself

 

If you have a deep fear of being alone,
you'll betray yourself over and over again...

You'll go blind when you're afraid to see the truth.

You'll go deaf when someone hurts you with their words.

You'll lie to yourself so because you don't like the truth.

You'll play it small so no one feels threatened.

You'll ignore your inner voice, choosing ignorance instead. 

You'll hurt yourself rather than risk upsetting someone else.

You'll long for more, but will be paralyzed by self-doubt.

You'll waste your life living for others rather than yourself.

 

*****

 

The courage to be ourselves

 

Most people have lived their lives according to how they were conditioned as a child, myself included. I've spent a lot of years working to undo some of the beliefs that were handed to me when I was young: how I should behave, how I should think...

 

Because I've made choices based on my conditioning, it began to occur to me that the life I created wasn't mine. It consisted of a lot of shoulds, which is basically a shame word that motivated me to betray myself a thousand times in a thousand ways. I should do this...I should do that...
 

I not only betrayed myself, but I grew up to become someone I thought society would approve of rather than who I was. It has been an arduous journey finding my way back to myself. I'm still working on it.

I've found that it takes great courage and strength to be authentic and true to yourself. But it frees you in ways that I have no words to describe. Words would only dilute the beauty of it.

 

******

 

 

Expanding your world

Healing your past so you see...
life through a clear lens.
Opening your heart and...
letting the world pour in.
Becoming a fearless by...
saying “yes to all your life lessons.
 

 

Finding myself

Something I learned about myself in the midst of grief and illness was that the life I was living wasn't my own. My life belonged to fear. Because I had abandonment issues from childhood, I made choices based on the needs of a wounded little girl rather than choices that were right for me.

 

When my daughter died, grief pushed me in a new direction. Grief forced my world to become slower, quieter... At first it was frightening, but as the fear lessened, I started to feel nurtured by the stillness...

 

****

New beginnings

There are different forms of grief.
There's the kind of grief we feel when
we lose someone we really love,
but there's also a sorrow we experience
 when our lives are changing and transforming.
Grief is part of the process that helps us transition
into the promise of tomorrow...

 

 

Finding lasting peace

 

There's been a lot of changes this past year for me. Some of them have felt really good and some have felt scary. Though I'm still in the process of completely surrendering to the changes, I'm not fighting or feeling victimized by them either. I know life is handing me another blessing so I'll just continue to hug the frightened places in me until all that remains is peace...  

 

*****

 

 

Trusting the process

I remember as a child going on road trips and bugging my parents with questions like "Are we there yet?". Though I have a bit more patience today than I used to, I can still find myself wanting things to happen faster than they're suppose to. This verse by Teresa of Avila helps puts things in perspective:

 

If I do my best,

I will be victorious,

I will fly,

but not before you give me wings.

Grant me patience.

 

*****

 

 

Making friends with our feelings

Open the door to all your feelings.
Let them in! Treat them as welcomed guests.
Joy, sorrow, confusion, pain...are part of life.
 Each one is here to gift you with new understandings.
 

 

Swallowing truth

 Too funny! I didn't plan how this photo would turn out when I took it,
but being swallowed by a dinosaur is symbolic of what happens when
we deny our feelings. We get stuck in the belly of fear... 

 

Because there are so many ways to distract ourselves.
it's ridiculously easy to become numb inside.
 Being numb may give us a temporary reprieve from
the things we don't want to look at,
but after awhile it also sucks the joy out of living.
So why do we numb ourselves? The culprit is fear.
We're afraid to face our feelings of loneliness,

self-loathing, and unresolved emotional pain.
And how do we turn our lives in another direction?
By getting in touch with truth and reaching for help...
 

*****

 



Picture yourself...

 

Picture yourself as a woman who...

stays beautifully balanced with humility,

is comfortable in her own skin,

and loves without attachments.

 

 

Connecting with life

We are all being called to heal our lives.
It's in mending our past that we create a better future.
Years of accumulated wounds will distort your 
thinking and weaken your connection to the world.
Life will gift you with the perfect experiences to
break down your walls and open your heart.
 When this happens, don't see yourself as a victim.
Instead look for the blessing!
 Know that it's your time for rejuvenation...

*****

Language of the heart

There are two ways to live in the world; from the heart or from the mind. Your heart contains love, happiness, contentment, warmth, and connection. Your mind thinks and analyzes.

 

If you've have been hurt in the past, you may have shut your heart down which then forces you to live in your mind. It disconnects you from yourself, from others, and from God. Though you may feel you're protecting yourself, you are missing out on what life is really about. Life is meant to be an adventure where we take risks, where we can be vulnerable, where we freely share our hearts and gifts, where we feel everything; joy and pain alike, where we let go and trust, stepping into the mystery of it all...

 

*****

 

Trusting all things

 

 

When life feels difficult, practice acceptance.

Resistance only makes things harder.

 Embrace all your experiences,

trusting there's a gift in each one.

Don't put your happiness on hold,

waiting for life to be perfect.

 It already is!!!

 

 *****

Growing pains

 

We are meant to change and grow
but when we're afraid of what change will bring,
we often hold tightly to our old ways.
We're more comfortable with the way things are
even if isn't right for us anymore.
Change is a necessary part of life!
The good news is that when we get stuck in fear,
pain eventually moves us forward...

*****

A big heart

You were born to shine...

But because your light comes from
a place of loving and accepting yourself,
in order to shine you have to eliminate
guilt, shame, perfectionism, self-judgment...



Speaking mindfully

Picture yourself as a woman who speaks from her heart
 rather than words to please others

 

New pink tees for sale. Love them!

Getting real

 

Our wounds will continue to get triggered

until we surrender to healing them.

We aren't meant to carry our old baggage

but most people do because it's not always

comfortable facing unresolved pain.

We attempt to avoid it by pushing it away

but life just keeps bringing it back to us

again and again...

 

*****

 

 

Finding peace



When the night grows dim
the stars appear...

Sorting through old photographs this morning reminded me how full I once kept
my life. Busyness was a distraction from truth. The truth that I eventually came to acknowledge was this: I felt empty, disconnected, and uncomfortable in my
own skin. In order to move forward, I had to work on myself. How interesting today that as life grows quieter, I feel an undeniable richness growing inside me...

 

FAITH

 

                                      FAITH…

                        sitting in the silence…
                    trusting things as they are…
               believing in infinite possibilities…

Faith in action

 

We forfeit our power when we try to micro-manage
life instead of letting it unfold.

There is nothing empowering about giving into fear.

We own our power by learning to just trust...

*****

Relationships

“Can the purpose of a relationship be to trigger our wounds? 
 In a way, yes, because that is how healing happens;
darkness must be exposed before it can be transformed. 
 The purpose of an intimate relationship is not that it be
a place where we can hide from our weaknesses,
but rather where we can safely let them go. 
 It takes strength of character to truly delve into the mystery
of an intimate relationship...

 

Marianne Williamson

*****

 

A willing heart

 

Rather than weigh
who's worthy of your heart, 
extend it freely.
The pain of withholding love
is far more damaging
 than a broken heart.
 

The door to our heart

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
 Well, I've been afraid of changing...
 But time makes you bolder...

 

Lyrics from Landslide

 

We all have wounds that can be hidden so well that we

don't know they're there. If you want to know what's true,

look around and see what others are reflecting back about you.

The world is always telling your story...

 

*****

 

 

The promise of tomorrow

 

As a teenager, I felt very alone though it may not have looked that way to others. I became good at wearing a mask to hide not only the loneliness, but the shame that went along with it.

 

As I became older, the feelings continued to haunt me. I tried to hide the truth from myself by denying it. But no matter how full my life became...career, marriage, children, friends, family...there was no escape. Yet I still refused to acknowledge the truth and kept myself busy instead.

There came a time when things changed very drastically for me. I lost a lot of my family including my daughter, my brother, my husband, and my mom. I had already lost my grandparents and my dad years prior. Then I lost my health and had to give up a job I loved (one that kept me extremely busy).  

 

The circumstances of my life sent me into crisis. But it was crisis that shaped the direction of things to come. At first, pain sent me spiraling into the darkest place I had ever been. For a long time I clung to nothing but a flicker of hope until things slowly began to heal. Somewhere in the process of healing the grief, shame and loneliness healed too.
 

*****

Self-awareness

A positive outlook  
is one of the most precious
gifts a person can have.
Be someone who sees
the good in everything.

 

A leap of faith

The pages of her life were filled

with the vibrant colors

of a fearless woman.

She let go of safety and

 took a joyful leap into the unknown...