As a teenager, I felt very alone though it may not have looked that way to others. I became good at wearing a mask to hide not only the loneliness, but the shame that went along with it.
As I became older, the feelings continued to haunt me. I tried to hide the truth from myself by denying it. But no matter how full my life became...career, marriage, children, friends, family...there was no escape. Yet I still refused to acknowledge the truth and kept myself busy instead.
There came a time when things changed very drastically for me. I lost a lot of my family including my daughter, my brother, my husband, and my mom. I had already lost my grandparents and my dad years prior. Then I lost my health and had to give up a job I loved (one that kept me extremely busy).
The circumstances of my life sent me into crisis. But it was crisis that shaped the direction of things to come. At first, pain sent me spiraling into the darkest place I had ever been. For a long time I clung to nothing but a flicker of hope until things slowly began to heal. Somewhere in the process of healing the grief, shame and loneliness healed too.
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