A Life that Glimmered

 From the outside,

my life shimmered with beauty.

My husband and I had good careers,
a lovely home,
and all the pieces
that looked like happiness.

But beneath the surface,
I felt numb—
physically, emotionally,
and somewhere deep within,
spiritually.

I carried shame quietly,
along with secrets
I never imagined speaking aloud.

So I did what I knew how to do.

I disappeared into caring for others—
motherhood, marriage,
a well-kept home,
beloved pets,
and endless creative projects
that kept my hands busy
and my heart distracted.

For a while,
it almost worked.

Then came an assignment
while I was earning my associate’s degree:

to create a timeline of my life.

Until then,
I had never journaled,
never learned
how to travel inward.

But placing my life onto paper
brought me to my knees.

The story I had spent years
outrunning
was suddenly sitting before me.

It was my first true surrender
to a God I did not yet understand—
and the quiet beginning
of my recovery.