Saturday, March 23, 2013

Losing our essence



Who is the impostor?
The impostor is someone has lost their own identity.
They smile when they feel angry...
they fake excitement when they feel disappointment...
they say "yes" when they want to say"no".

As children, they lost their "wonder child"...
to become who they thought others would approve of...
in a desperate need for love and acceptance.

In adulthood...
they are still separated from their own needs...
continuing this pattern throughout their life.

This subject is close to my heart, having grown up in a home where love was scarce. I became a "good little girl" to get approval and to avoid consequences. I paid a BIG price for becoming that "good little girl" my parents wanted me to be. I disconnected from my authentic self. I lost my ability to trust my feelings. I lost confidence in who I was. It's not been an easy road back to finding the pieces of myself I left behind. I'm still working on it...

*****

There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.”
― Anais Nin
 
****


"I will be true to who I am"

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