Sunday, February 16, 2014

Healing the shame

Shame is something I am very familiar with. My mom had me when she was 17. It was during a time when it was disgrace to have sex before marriage. I am certain that her parents and my dad's parents shamed them, so in my mother's womb, I was already being exposed to shame.

Because my parents never knew what to do with their shame, they shamed me and my siblings. I got so many shaming messages over the years. These messages left me feeling shattered, flawed, and hopeless.

I finally came to place in my life when I couldn't ignore the damage the shame was doing to me so I began to expose it. In telling on the shame, I began to heal. I started to see that I was more than the shame, but the shame held me back from being all that I could be.

What I know to be true is this: there is no way out of shame, but to face it. If you don't, you will never know the love and joy that life means for you to have. You will never feel good enough. You will never feel loved enough. You will never think you do enough. You will not pursue your truest desires. You will settle for things less than you deserve. Get honest with yourself. Don't waste the rest of your precious life in denial. Denial will only give you more of what you already have.