Love and acceptance

 

Why do we strive so hard to be perfect rather than seeing the beauty in our flaws? Somewhere in our lives we got the message that we weren't enough. As a result, we developed unrealistic concepts about who we should be. It then forced all the parts of ourselves that aren't perfect, into hiding. Our focus became trying to be more rather than accepting and loving who we are. 

 

******

 

Trusting your instincts

 

I'm pretty certain we were all born with the ability to know right from wrong. Children are intuitive, but when they begin to get conflicting messages from the outside world, they learn to listen to others instead of trusting their instincts. Then what happens is they grow up with a flawed belief system which attributes to a low self-image and poor choices. Can you relate?

One of the ways that used to make me feel a bit crazy and was a breeding ground for shame in my home growing up, was that if I tried to express my feelings or needs, I was shut down quickly. My parents wouldn't tolerate anything that didn't match their needs and feelings. This lead to hurt, confusion, and frustration, which then caused me to express myself in another way, through tears. However, crying was not tolerated either. The messages I got taught me stuff my feelings, my intuition, and my needs.

I'm not blaming my parents or society for it's flawed system. What I'm saying is that most of us have had this experience and because we did, it has robbed us of peace.

No matter who taught you what, it is your responsibility today to change. You change by aligning yourself once again with your conscience, doing what's right, listening to your own needs rather than projecting your needs unto others (being a fixer/co-dependent)as a way to unsuccessfully heal, and breaking the cycle of numbing feelings with addictions. Feelings are essential to your well-being. It's okay to feel!!! It lets you know how alive you really are.

******

 

Finding your purpose

 

I am very excited about starting another 4-week workshop for women who are interested in working on their spiritual growth. I am calling it "Finding Deeper Purpose and Meaning For Your Life". It will be held on Tues. mornings from 11-12 and the cost is $10 a group. What a bargain!

 

Often women tell me that they don't know their purpose in life. It is because they are giving too much energy to their external life, living in survival, and neglecting the inner cry for something more. It is my passion and my purpose to teach women how to live more successfully. Often that means healing the wounds of their past. It may seem easier to deny that the past still greatly impacts their lives, but until they find a deeper level of honesty within themselves, they are stuck in old patterns, beliefs and behaviors that block them from the life they deserve. I encourage every woman to ask herself "am I truly happy or am I keeping my life full of external fixes so I don't have to face how I really feel?". It is only in owning the truth that one can begin to make a shift that will be deeply rewarding and meaningful.

 

I also offer 1:1 coaching. I extend this invitation to those who live close to my area and can do a face-to-face, as well as, women who are out of state (via: phone sessions). If you are interested or have questions, leave me a message in the comment box below or go to my website www.creativehealingforwomen.com and leave me a message there. God Bless! Have a beautiful day!!!

 

*****

Broken pieces

 

Because of our broken hearts, our emotional wounds,...

what the disease of Codependence causes us to do is abandon ourselves.

It causes the abandonment of self...our own inner child...

that inner child is the gateway to our channel to the Higher Self.

It is necessary to own and honor the child who we were

in order to love the person we are.

 

-Robert Burney

 

****

 

Sharing our shame story

 

Shame and blame go hand in hand.

If we're quick to point the finger at someone else,

be certain that shame is lurking in the corner.

To heal shame, we have to expose it.

Being secretive about it only adds to the problem. 

When we tell our shame story to someone trustworthy,

the shame begins to heal.

Sharing our shame isn't comfortable,

but enduring a few moments of being uncomfortable is

far better the a life sentence of unworthiness.

 

*****

 

Healing the shame

 

Shame is something I am very familiar with. My mom had me when she was 17. It was during a time when it was disgrace to have sex before marriage. I am certain that her parents and my dad's parents shamed them, so in my mother's womb, I was already being exposed to shame.

Because my parents never knew what to do with their shame, they shamed me and my siblings. I got so many shaming messages over the years. These messages left me feeling shattered, flawed, and hopeless.

I finally came to place in my life when I couldn't ignore the damage the shame was doing to me so I began to expose it. In telling on the shame, I began to heal. I started to see that I was more than the shame, but the shame held me back from being all that I could be.

What I know to be true is this: there is no way out of shame, but to face it. If you don't, you will never know the love and joy that life means for you to have. You will never feel good enough. You will never feel loved enough. You will never think you do enough. You will not pursue your truest desires. You will settle for things less than you deserve. Get honest with yourself. Don't waste the rest of your precious life in denial. Denial will only give you more of what you already have.

 

*****

 

Looking inward

No matter how hard we work

to create a healthier life style

 by eating right, exercising, etc...,

if we don't address our unresolved core issues,

the stress our minds create

may cancel out these efforts.

 

We can't get escape from our issues

because our minds won't rest.

It stays in a fight or fight mode.

Situations show up that trigger our old stuff

so the stress is continually activated.

 

It is only in surrendering to

being deeply honest with ourselves and clean up the past,

that we begin to heal our minds and bodies.

It is by far, the best preventive medicine for our future. 

 

*****

 

Living fully

Take me to the places on the earth
that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting
the world break your heart,
and I will take you to the places where
the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead
make my heart whole again and again.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer
 

****

 

Telling the truth

To heal, we must tell our story.

Not the one we've made up,

but the one that brings us to our knees,

 releasing the sorrow.

****

 

Waking up to truth

She felt the Universe...

 

 lovingly caress her cheek,

 

gently awakening the places in her...

 she had been asleep.



*****

 



Creative healing

 

 

For me, creativity is great therapy, as well as, fun. 

I love experimenting with colors and techniques.

I love the challenge of learning something new.

I love the way creativity nourishes my spirit.

I love how the solitude nurtures my soul.

Everything I create pushes me deeper...

 into my imagination and determination.

Creativity teaches me to take risks...
and to let go of outcomes.

It teaches me to be okay with making mistakes.

It teaches me to accept disappointment.

I don't always end up with something I'm happy with.

When this happens, I just put my the project aside...

and often come back to it later with a new plan for it.

 
I enjoy the anticipation of what's coming next...
though I usually have no clue what it will be.
 I guess I'll have to wait and see...
 

*****

Hiding shame behind perfectionism

 

"Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system

that fuels this primary thought:

If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly,

 I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of

shame, judgment, and blame.”  

 

― Brené Brown

 

*****



Feeling good

Picture yourself as a woman

who no longer looks outside herself

for a sense of safety, happiness, and well-being.
 

*****
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!
 

 



The past is over

 

Pippi on the back of my computer chair...

******

If you were hurt as a child and still see the world

through the lens of this wounded child,

nothing will be as it truly is.

You will feel unsafe, victimized, and lonely.

If you didn't get your needs met when you were young,
 you may still be trying to get someone to meet them.
You'll be angry when they fail to meet your expectations.
 

Don't bring your past into your relationships today.

If something is broken in you,
only you can fix it.
 

****



Transforming fear

 

Until we stop to face our deepest fear,

we waste precious time running from it.

Some of the ways we avoid being alone with fear is...

busyness, overeating, spending, dependency on others,

substances, working too much, isolating....

All of these lead to nowhere, but a dead end.

There's no where to bury the truth,

no matter how hard we try.

The hole inside of us we try to fill with distraction...

 ends up being another source of pain.

It's only in surrendering to being honest about our fear,

that we begin to truly transform...

 

I am certain we all have the same fear...

fear of being alone.

We have been wounded in some way;

abandonment, rejection, dysfunctional family issues growing up... 

It's not a comfortable process to look at a broken heart.

We may lie to ourselves by saying "it was no big deal".

But minimizing it is just another excuse to avoid it.

 

There is nothing outside of yourself that will heal you.

It's like trying to put a band aide on a gaping, infected wound.

It will never work.

Nor will lying to yourself.

 

For today, surrender to become more honest.

Stop looking for quick fixes.

Any discomfort you may feel when you look at fear...

is nowhere near as painful as carrying it with you

for the rest of your life.

We all have the choice to live fully awake and present...

 or numb ourselves out.

 

******

 

 

******

Being restored

Faith allows the tired mind to rest,

 

the broken heart to heal,

 

and fear to be washed away.

 

There is nothing that can not be restored...

 

when faith is called upon.

 

*****



Another healing step in the journey

new drawings

 

For years I've neglected my own heart. There's a child in me that has a broken picker when it comes to relationships. I've been careless with where I've placed my trust. I'm not judging anyone for my mistakes. I pretended to see things the way I wanted them to be rather than how they really were and then, paid a price for my denial.

 

I'm grateful for the lessons that are helping me see myself more clearly. I see how I have been looking outside of myself for something I obviously lacked inside. My choices have merely been a reflection of what I thought I deserved. I set myself up to fall again and again.

My prayer for today is that I make good choices, listening to my heart, as well as, my intuition. As far as the child in me who's still in need of love, I will be her provider.

****

The road to recovery

 

“The road to healing is a rocky one, and you need to know that. 
There are times when every fiber in your body will scream out to give up. 

In these moments, God is right there with you, holding your head up,

and carrying you when you cannot walk anymore. 

Even if you are holding on with your teeth, and your knuckles are red and bleeding,

it is crucial that you still hold on. 

Don’t give up! You have too much to lose!”

 

― Coralleie Buchanan

 

*****

Transforming pain

 

 

I unpacked a few old projects this week hoping to inspire myself to sew again. Creating dolls was one of the ways I used to cope with emotional pain. There was a time in my life when my soul cried for help, but I didn't listen. Instead I hid my pain...

 

Eventually life forced me to get real. It was the best thing that could have ever happened. A miracle! As I began to empty out all the hurt I had shoved down into my gut, the chamber of my heart peeked open...

  

*****

 

“Behind every dancer there’s someone that broke her,

a song that moved her,

a moment that inspired her

and a dance floor that healed her.”

 

― Hope Alcocer

 

*****



Healing our hearts

 

It is only our minds that hold unto guilt...

 

beating ourselves up over the same mistake.

 

It's a form of self-punishment.

 

But there's another choice.

 

"Forgiveness"

 

Not only do we beat ourselves up with guilt,

 

but we project our guilt unto others through blame.

 

Practice saying three words today.

 

"I forgive everyone"

 

*****