Trusting your instincts

 

I'm pretty certain we were all born with the ability to know right from wrong. Children are intuitive, but when they begin to get conflicting messages from the outside world, they learn to listen to others instead of trusting their instincts. Then what happens is they grow up with a flawed belief system which attributes to a low self-image and poor choices. Can you relate?

One of the ways that used to make me feel a bit crazy and was a breeding ground for shame in my home growing up, was that if I tried to express my feelings or needs, I was shut down quickly. My parents wouldn't tolerate anything that didn't match their needs and feelings. This lead to hurt, confusion, and frustration, which then caused me to express myself in another way, through tears. However, crying was not tolerated either. The messages I got taught me stuff my feelings, my intuition, and my needs.

I'm not blaming my parents or society for it's flawed system. What I'm saying is that most of us have had this experience and because we did, it has robbed us of peace.

No matter who taught you what, it is your responsibility today to change. You change by aligning yourself once again with your conscience, doing what's right, listening to your own needs rather than projecting your needs unto others (being a fixer/co-dependent)as a way to unsuccessfully heal, and breaking the cycle of numbing feelings with addictions. Feelings are essential to your well-being. It's okay to feel!!! It lets you know how alive you really are.

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Giving and recieving

I love the love-worn primitive look
and the lovely smell of cinnamon
after I bake them.

 

“One of the greatest barriers to connection

is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone.

Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone.

Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand,

but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves.

It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help"

and "those who need help."

The truth is that we are both.”  

― Brené Brown

 

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Slowing down

Nature does not hurry,
yet everything is accomplished.

~ Lao Tzu ~

 

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Giving too much

 

My whole life I've been an over-giver… Over the years, I have over-given with my money, my stuff, my opinions, my time, my body…

...over-giving is not quite the same thing as generosity. Generosity is neither entangling nor aggressive, because the generous person doesn't expect anything in return. The over-giver doesn't expect anything in return either—except to be petted and feted and praised and loved unconditionally for the rest of time…
 
…sometimes my over-giving left friends feeling shamed and laid bare. Sometimes, for instance, "lack of money" hadn't been a friend's problem in the first place: Maybe her real problem had been lack of confidence or organization or motivation. Maybe by erasing her money problems, all I'd done was suddenly expose her other problems. Maybe such rapid exposure is a dreadful thing to do to somebody… All I know is, those friendships withered under a cloud of mutual discomfort, and now we cross the street to avoid running into each other.

Years ago, in India, a monk warned me, "Never give anyone more than they are emotionally capable of receiving, or they will have no choice but to hate you for it." At the time, the advice sounded cynical, even cruel.... But these days, I've come to believe that when you give heedlessly or with an agenda, you actually can give until it hurts, and that the person who is most gravely injured in the exchange is the other guy.

Don't get me wrong: I'll always be a giver. I still see generosity as one of humanity's great natural watersheds—a place where lives can be cleansed, renewed, filtered back toward grace… I've learned to watch where I step. I'm more likely to trust the well-established charities nowadays than to practice social engineering within my own circle. Granted, I don't get the same endorphin rush that I used to get by waving a magic wand in someone's face...but I do get to keep my friends now…

Elizabeth Gilbert

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A satisfying life

 

People who only want to feel good because they are uncomfortable with pain, 
become pleasure seekers. 
Pain is natural part of life. 
Why do people fear it?
 As humans, we are meant to experience a full range of emotions.
A life of pleasure seeking is limited and unsatisfying. 
It leads people to living selfishly.

 

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“You have not lived today
until you have done something for someone
who can never repay you.” 
― John Bunyan

Setting new goals

I found mommy and baby bird again yesterday. Moments like these are priceless.

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 Goals I'm working on:

Slowing down

Living more mindfully

Keeping things really simple

Staying grounded

Paying close attention to my emotional, physical, and spiritual needs

Practicing more meditation

Keeping my heart soft and grateful

Fearing less, trusting more

Letting go of worry

Being in the moment

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The purpose of life, after all,
is to live it,
to taste experience to the utmost,
to reach out eagerly and without fear
for newer and richer experience.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

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"I will continue to raise the bar when it comes to the quality of my life."

The threads of your heart (friendships)

It's not always easy to get dragonfly pictures. These little guys are fast...but I am patient...and my patience paid off. I love the color of this one...a shimmering bronze.

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After a short break from blogging, I'm sitting with my computer on my lap writing...

I missed blogging...it's a part of my morning ritual...it feeds my creative spirit
and my love for inspiring women.

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Recently I took a closer look at some of my friendships that had been troubling me. I had been ignoring my feelings of hurt and disappointment for a long time, so I made a decision to say goodbye to them...it was really hard...it hurt...but it was the right thing to do.

 

There was an inner voice that had been whispering to me "let go". But my heart was invested, so I held on...I was afraid...I ignored my intuition...until I couldn't anymore...it was an act of love (for myself) which gave me the courage to release them.

One of things I've worked hard on is having healthier boundaries. In the past, I've been guilty of giving more than receiving. Giving comes easier.

When I talk about giving and receiving, I'm referring to an exchange of love. When I give my love to someone whose heart is closed, I set myself up for future problems.

This is a trap I want to avoid. I'm going to do my best in the future to make careful choices.

To have a healthy friendship, there has to be a respectful exchange of energy.

I know that some people come into our lives for only a season. And each one is as precious and valuable as the lessons they bring with them. I am grateful for every teacher/friend that has blessed my life. Now it's time to move forward; surrounding myself with loving, supportive friends.
No more ignoring red flags; fooling myself into thinking people will change.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

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As a rose cant live       without the rain      So a heart can't love         without risk of pain ~                   Author Unknown ~

"I am worthy"

Living in moderation

My lesson today is about living mindfully. How quickly I feel out of balance when I don't practice being present to my needs. There's no question that we live in a society today that is fast pace but I can't blame it on that. Having a muscle condition called "FMS" forces me to evaluate every choice I make. When I overdo it, my muscles go in to a flare-up, it then becomes difficult to sleep and I have no energy. I'm not complaining. I've had this condition for a long time and have made friends with it. 

I'm pretty sure that I've always had an addictive personality. In the past, I prided myself on being a great multi-tasker. I could shove a lot of activity into a day. I've since learned from the slogan "Easy Does It". That means slowing down and taking time to smell the roses.

My friend Alicia

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Affirmations help to change old patterns of thinking by replacing it with something new.  

"I am present to my life"

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