Building a new foundation

 

The whole ego structure is based on a false sense of security. Because at our core there is a frightened child, we seek safety in ways that are harmful. We unknowingly have dedicated our lives to fear and illusion. We may think we are escaping fear, but in fact we have structured our lives around it.

 

Fear plays out in many ways; people-pleasing, an insatiable craving for validation, molding ourselves into someone were not, trying to perfect because making mistakes brings up our unhealed shame...

 

We have learned to run when things makes us uncomfortable. We find ways to stay busy or numb ourselves out. We hold unto anger and blame in an attempt to deflect our unworthiness. We choose chaos and confusion rather than truth.

When we face our demons, we won't fall-apart. Instead we experience a sense of relief. It's a lot more work to manage fear than to face it.The ego structure will begin to dis-assemble because it has nothing to strengthen itself on. We will feel empowered. Without ego misleading us, we have the opportunity to build a new foundation resting on faith, truth, love, and connection...

*******

 

 

Being beautifully flawed

 

You may be surprised to know that what you think of yourself is far from true. Do you vacillate between building yourself up and tearing yourself down?

 

The truth is that you are loveable, beautiful, and gifted, just as you are. Although it's helpful to make improvements on yourself in whatever way you choose to, the most important goal is to formulate a kind, loving relationship with yourself right now. There's nothing you need to do to earn love. There is nothing you need to hide from others. We are all designed to be beautifully flawed...

******

"Awakeness is found in our pleasure and our pain, our confusion and our wisdom, available in each moment...the point is to lean toward the discomfort of life and see is clearly rather than to protect ourselves from it." Pema Chodron

Slowing down

 

And so taking the long way home through the market I slow my pace down. 

 It doesn't come naturally. 

 My legs are programmed to trot briskly and my arms to pump up and down like pistons,

but I force myself to stroll past the stalls and pavement cafes. 

 To enjoy just being somewhere, rather than rushing from somewhere, to somewhere. 

 Inhaling deep lungfuls of air, instead of my usual shallow breaths. 

I take a moment to just stop and look around me. 

 And smile to myself.
For the first time in a long time, I can, quite literally, smell the coffee.” 

 
― Alexandra Potter

 

*****

Good self-care

Made these dolls many years ago

 

*****

“Growing into your future with health and grace and beauty

doesn’t have to take all your time. 

 It rather requires a dedication to caring for yourself

as if you were rare and precious, which you are,

and regarding all life around you as equally so, which it is. "

― Victoria Moran

 

******

Good self-care

 

I'm taking a few days off. Be back soon!!!

Being true to yourself

 

 

“Ester asked why people are sad.
"That’s simple," says the old man.

"They are the prisoners of their personal history.

Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan.

They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person.

They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas,

and it is more than they can possibly cope with.

And that is why they forget their dreams.”  

 

― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir    

 

******

 



Listening to our truth

 

The spell hunger had over her was broken 
 

when she listened to her truth. 
 

She had been hungry to be heard,
 
yet had minimized her feelings,
 

putting others first. 

 

*****

 

 

Lessons learned

I am still work in progress when it comes to worthiness. Something that became very clear to me in 2013 was this: I was still giving my trust to people who hadn't earned the right to have it. And not just once...this is a pattern/story I have played out through-out my life. Had I listened to my intuition instead of ignoring the red flags, I would have made better decisions. Lessons learned...

*****

Our weakness is often simply a weakness in faith -

 believing more in the limitation of the world than in the limitlessness...

 

Marianne Williamson

*****

 

Ruling your kingdom

 

A queen is a woman...
 

 who grows more beautiful with age...
 

who rules her kingdom with her heart...
 

who refuses to compromise her values...
 

who creates a life of passion and adventure... 
 

who finds the good in everything..
 

who knows herself deeply...
 

who claims her right to be loved.

******

 

Comforting the child within

 

She gently said

 

to the frightened part of her

 

"I will love you

 

until the end of time"

 

****

Being good to ourselves

Chasing love or approval

 

brings us to a powerless place-

 

a place we lose our self

 

out of sheer desperation.

 

*****

 

Taking time to play

 

 

We live in a society that values accomplishments. There's nothing wrong with accomplishing things, but that is not our purpose in life. Often unworthiness hides behind over-achieving.

It's important to do things for ourselves like walking, stretching, eating healthy...but most importantly, we need to just play... removing stiff, structured areas of our lives. Creativity is our gift to the world, and we all have it. But if our attention has been focused on proving ourselves, we won't make time for fun, play, creating...

Even if you have created a healthy lifestyle, if your spirit isn't playful and happy, you are robbing yourself of one of life's greatest accomplishments-the freedom to experience your magnificence. There is nothing you have to do to find it. It's always been there!!!

******

 

Good self-care

making Xmas ornaments...

 

"The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters"

- Sue Monk Kidd

 

*****

I have spent a lot of time this holiday thinking about my mom and how grateful I am for things she taught me...things that I had previously judged her for.

 

Mom wasn't a people-pleaser. She did what felt right for her. It takes great courage, especially for women, to be true to themselves. Most of us were taught to please others first. Even as mom neared death, she made her own decisions. She did not listen to the doctors who wanted to get more aggressive with treating her lung cancer. She told me that she had lived her life fully, done everything she wanted to do, and now she was ready to go. Even in death, she left her wishes...no funeral, no fuss...

 

There have been many things I didn't understand about mom that I do now. I not only understand her, but have great respect for her ability to be authentic. Mom wasn't fake. She said what she felt. She did what she wanted. I thought she was being selfish, but she was actually practicing good self-care.

 

I think about all the years I've wasted trying to be someone I am not...not having the strength or courage to be more real...how I denied myself so much because guilt infected my decision-making. I put more focus on getting acceptance from others than I did listening to my inner needs. What was I thinking???? 

 

 My goal for 2014 is to continue to work at claiming my authentic self...to stop all people-pleasing...to accept myself...my uniqueness...my wishes and desires...my right to live a life that feels right for me...to make decisions that embody self-care.

 

Although my mom is not here, she will be my role model. Thank you, mom!!!

 

Happy Holidays to everyone.

 

******

 

Being real

Authenticity is a collections of choices....

it's the choice to show up and be real.

 The choice to be honest.

The choice to let our true selves be seen.

 

Brene Brown

 

******

 



Being yourself

 I enjoy doing elementary artwork,
but I decided to grow up a little bit
by giving this girl some facial features.
It doesn't feel like my art
because I'm not used to detail.
I like to keep things simple...
 

In recovery, we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are. For some of us, this can feel frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?

 

There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. We begin to achieve intimacy, and relationships that work. We discover that who we are has always been good enough. 



Melody Beattie- Language of Letting Go

*****

 



Being kind to yourself

 

Picture yourself as a woman

who has released

 negative stories about herself.

She has rewritten the pages of her life,

weaving in

kindness and understanding.

 

*****



Standing tall

            

 Painted my first tote bag...

“The only person who can pull me down is myself,

and I'm not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”  

― C. Joybell

 

******



Self-care

"Growing into your future with health and grace and beauty

 

doesn’t have to take all your time. 

 

It rather requires a dedication to caring for yourself

 

as if you were rare and precious, which you are,

 

and regarding all life around you as equally so, which it is. 

 

― Victoria Moran

 

******

Another healing step in the journey

new drawings

 

For years I've neglected my own heart. There's a child in me that has a broken picker when it comes to relationships. I've been careless with where I've placed my trust. I'm not judging anyone for my mistakes. I pretended to see things the way I wanted them to be rather than how they really were and then, paid a price for my denial.

 

I'm grateful for the lessons that are helping me see myself more clearly. I see how I have been looking outside of myself for something I obviously lacked inside. My choices have merely been a reflection of what I thought I deserved. I set myself up to fall again and again.

My prayer for today is that I make good choices, listening to my heart, as well as, my intuition. As far as the child in me who's still in need of love, I will be her provider.

****

Saying goodbye to guilt

 

Guilt is a method we use to cause harm to ourselves. For instance if you were abused as a child and today beat yourself up with guilt over things you've done in the past, you have continued the pattern of abuse. Guilt has no purpose!!! If you refuse to accept guilt in your life, there will be no need for punishment. The abuse cycle is then broken.

 

This also means we won't be pointing fingers at others either. Instead we take responsibility for our part in every situation. We forgive those who have caused us harm just as we forgive ourselves for the things we've done to cause harm.

 

Don't give power to guilt. Let the past go. And if you make a mistake in the future, merely correct it without giving any power to judgment over it.

 

*****