Had fun yesterday creating some new pieces!
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My relationship with my mom was complex. Part of me rebelled against her and another part of me wanted to be like her in some ways.We had our share of differences yet shared many things in common (cooking, crafts, cutting coupons, yard sales...).
Growing up, I was angry at her for not being there for me in the ways I needed her. Yet after I had my first child, we became friends and continued to be until the last year or so of her life. It was after my daughter died that I felt my mom pull far away from me. That hurt! I felt abandoned! But I understand now!
She too, had gone through the heartache of losing a child (my brother) and then her beloved granddaughter (my daughter). Whatever her reason for pulling away from me was, I'm certain it had to do with her own self-preservation.
Mom died from lung cancer a few years ago. I think of her often and smile! She was a character!
My son and I still laugh when we talk about some of the things she's did over the years (like the time she insisted we were going to have Kentucky Fried Chicken for Christmas dinner. Yuck! We had quite a disagreement over that one. She won though! We had chicken. And it was so awful that even my mom couldn't eat one piece. Oh yeah, did I mention that she bought it two days in advance so it was soggy by the time it got to my house?)
Even though we had our differences, I'm grateful that she was my mom.
She was a good person. Over the years, she taught me some valuable things.
She taught me how to be responsible and independent.
She taught me how to manage money; pay bills on time and save for the future.
She taught me good manners; to treat others respectfully.
She taught to take good care of my things and appreciate having them.
And she taught me to keep a clean organized home...
These skills have given me a good foundation for living. Thanks mom!
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Mom with her Tina Turner wig. She always took pride in her long blond hair but when she got cancer, her hair was falling out so my sister got her this wig. I think she looks cute!
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We can do no great things,
only small things with great love.
~ Mother Teresa ~
only small things with great love.
~ Mother Teresa ~
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"My heart is filled with gratitude"
Very well written. I love mom very much. She did not like that wig...lol...she only wore it about 4-5 times and that was it. I am thankful for my last year with mom. She was a strong and amazing lady....
ReplyDeletefunny...we were just talking about my mom last night at my grandmother's 100th birthday party! i miss my mom so much my heart hurts :( i was really angry and disappointed with her, too, for a long time when i first came into recovery. i felt majorly abandoned just like you did, deb. it wasn't too long, though, that i was able to find forgiveness and realize she truly did the best she could with what she knew...she was 18 when she went from her daddy to my dad and 19 when she had me. she never had the chance to get to know herself, at all, and then stayed in a very abusive relationship addicted to denial! the one thing my mom taught me was how to love unconditionally, especially your children. she was my biggest fan...at times my only cheerleader. when i had my children - oh my! her grandchildren were it! i never bought diapers! when my girls were little, we would go out on saturdays and spend the day at walmart and have lunch and whatever my daughters needed, she bought! we went to movies before the girls were born. she was my matron of honor when i married the girl's dad. my mom was my only friend for a long time....and although i so miss her, i know she is in a much better place now xoxo
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