Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Unspoken words

 Taken last night on my walk...my first purple dragonfly
One of the most damaging things that we can do to a relationship is to stuff our feelings.
The "unsaid" things, the things we're afraid to tell someone, may end up being what
destroys the relationship. We may fear hurting someones feelings, but in the long run,
better to hurt their feelings than lose them.
Sometimes I have to push myself to be direct. It's not always easy, but I feel good about it
afterwards. It builds trust (in myself and with others), eliminating future problems. Too
often I played the game of pretending that: I don't care...it doesn't matter...I'm fine...
In all fairness, many of us were brought up to ignore our feelings; a pattern that can be
deeply ingrained. It's up to us to break the cycle of co-dependency...to learn self-care...to
be honest in expressing how we feel...risking rejection...to be who we really are.

"Co-dependence is an emotional and behavioral defense system which was adopted
by our egos in order to meet our need to survive as a child. Because we had no tools
 for reprogramming our egos and healing our emotional wounds, the effect is that as
an adult we keep reacting to the programming of our childhood and do not get our
needs met - our emotional, mental, Spiritual, or physical needs. Co-dependence allows
us to survive physically but causes us to feel empty... Co-dependence is a defense system
that causes us to wound ourselves."
Quote: The Dance of Wounded Souls

"I will tell others how I truly feel"