My own miracle

 

For the last two decades I've held the same belief that I have today: the way out of pain is self-examination and change. As a result of the work I've done, I am for the most part, free of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. I've also been able to let go of wants, attachments and most fears. I know what it took to get here. There were no shortcuts. I've watched lots of women do the same work I've done, but they gave up when they got uncomfortable. Giving up was never an option for me...

My most significant prayer even today has been "show me the way". This prayer has opened the prison doors for me. It has led me to healing after healing...

The key to freedom has been a strong desire for something better. I made a decision 20 years ago that I would heal my life. I had reached a place where continuing to live in pain and denial was no longer an option. I got sick of trying to figure out how to feel OK. I sought help like a person on fire seeks water. I faced gobs of shame, fear, self-doubt, and everything else that had a negative hold on me. I looked at every aspect of my childhood and the years after, and healed all the hurts. Not once did I ever stopped believing that I would achieve what I set out to do, even when I went through the worse thing imaginable; losing my daughter. In the midst of  grief, when I was only holding a tiny thread of hope, I still felt determined to finish what I started...not just for myself, but in memory of my daughter who did not find her way out of pain in the earthly sense, and for others who are still suffering today. None of the work I've done has been solely for me. I've had a passion burning inside me since I was young girl...a deep love and desire to help others find the path to joy and freedom...

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