In the flow of things

It takes a great commitment to find one's true self. Last June I had a spiritual experience. In that experience, I met the person that I had the potential to be if I didn't make choices based on fear. In that beautiful experience I felt only joy, confidence, and excitement. I made some big decisions during that time because I had no fear of taking risks. It was amazing! After the experience, I saw there was a huge contrast between my authentic self and the fearful self. I've spent this past year working to align myself with the woman I met in the Vortex (the spiritual experience)...

Without a doubt, fear has had a clever grip on me all my life. I became who I thought people would accept. I put unrealistic expectations on myself so it forced me to become someone I wasn't. Initially, after the Vortex, I fell into a pool of shame. It took months to clean it out. But after it was cleaned out, a new rhythm took hold of my life... a rhythm I trust so much that I released all resistance and surrendered my will to it. I know without a doubt, the rhythm is God bringing me back to who I am...

I have a deep sense of peace and wellness today. I have my health back (which is a miracle in itself). I feel better physically than before I was diagnosed with FMS. I now see that living as an imposter robbed me more than just spiritually. It made me physically sick too. I don't know where life is taking me next, but what I do know is that each day the flow brings me closer to home...

God is always trying to re-direct us back to who we are. But fear causes resistance. You may be afraid that you will have to give up the things you are overly attached to (things you've used to falsely identity yourself). You may fear having to give up control. And you're right, you'll have to! What is God's role in your life if you're not willing to listen and take direction? Unless you surrender and step deeper into faith, you will continue to walk a path that isn't even yours...

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