Twenty years ago I fell into a hole so dark I thought the only way out was to end my life. The darkness was not anything externally related. Everything in my life looked great, but inwardly I was plunging head first into hell...
In the dark, I cried out to God. Shortly after, I had my first spiritual awakening. From that moment on, I turned my life over to Him. I know God let me sit in my suffering until I found the willingness to move my pride and ego out of the way so He could help me...
I was ready! And to my surprise, I discovered that I had a hunger for healing my life and helping others to heal theirs too...
My trust and devotion to God has been years in the making. He has challenged me over and over again to do things I've been deeply afraid to do, but did anyways. Each time, I grew and healed a little more, putting more distance between myself and suffering.
I also, twenty years ago, dedicated my life to paying forward what God gave me, which was hope. I've reached my hand to every woman suffering who was willing to reach back. It's joyful to help others. It's also heartbreaking when I see someone starting to shine with hope and then they become afraid to move forward, so they sabotage themselves by running back to the darkness again. I understand! There have been countless times when I knew God was handing me a lesson I needed to get, and I was afraid to look at it. But each time I have surrendered the fear rather than giving in to it. I consistently say this prayer "God, I do not know, but you do. Please show me the way"...
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