Monday, April 15, 2013

A false sense of belonging

Sometimes in life we are called to do the very thing we're afraid of. One thing I fear is rejection. Being different, being true to myself, is still a stretch for me. I spent most of life trying to please others, to fit in, to be what others wanted me to be. But I lost myself in the process.
The last few months I have been in a situation that I would have done anything to avoid in the past. I took a strong stand for something I believe in. It has not made me popular...quite the opposite.  I could avoided a lot of judgement and rejection by playing the old game of " I will pretend not to see what I see and know what I know so you like me". I have worked too hard on myself to go blind ever again. I'm not desperate anymore to belong. I'm not willing to disconnect from myself. Too high a price to pay for a false sense of belonging.
 This has not been a picnic. It has been painfully uncomfortable and I've wanted to give up. But something deep in me has said to not give into fear. And I haven't. I can see already how much I have gained from this experience...these bittersweet lessons about trusting myself...looking rejection in the face rather than cowering. I will never be the same. And for that, I am truly grateful.
She pushed beyond old limiting beliefs
and opened her mind
to new ideas.
Her fear couldn’t thrive in a space
insulated with faith.


"I am free to be who I am"


  1. I love this post Debbie as I am in a similar place in life. To stand for what you believe in the face of possible rejection is a hard place to be in. I also have decided to dig my heels in and not waiver no matter what. God bless, Jan

  2. Good for you! Let's celebrate our efforts together, having faith in the outcome.