The Good Little Girl

 I continue to live with pain.

But this morning, something became clear.

For years, I have done everything the doctors asked of me. Tests. Treatments. Procedures. Appointments.

I followed the rules.

I was the good patient.

And yet, here I am.

Still searching.

Still hurting.

As I sat with that truth, I saw something deeper.

A little girl who learned early that safety came from obedience.

A child who feared punishment if she questioned authority.

A child who learned to trust everyone else’s voice before her own.

I have carried her into every doctor’s office.

Into every decision.

Into every attempt to find relief.

But today, something is changing.

Today, I feel invited to listen more closely to my own inner knowing.

To trust myself.

To stop searching for someone else to rescue me.

What needs healing most may not be my ability to follow instructions.

It may be the fear that tells me I am not allowed to choose for myself.

The fear that says I will be punished if I step outside the lines.

So today, I sit with that frightened little girl.

And together, we practice something new.

Not rebellion.

Not defiance.

Freedom.

The freedom to listen.

The freedom to trust.

The freedom to believe that our voice matters too.