Bringing Up Old Trauma

This has been a painful week.

First, my beloved cat became very sick. I held my breath for days, afraid I might lose him. Thankfully, he pulled through.

Then, the very next day, my little bird Lucy became ill.

As I write this, I am waiting for the veterinarian to call. Deep inside, I already know what is coming. I know have to let her go.

It is bringing more than today’s grief.

It is stirring every goodbye my heart has ever known.

My thoughts return to my daughter, Jody. For eight years I watched addiction slowly pull her away from me. There were moments no mother ever forgets—moments of fear, helplessness, and heartbreak that still live quietly inside me.

Jody has been gone for twenty years, yet I wonder if my body is still carrying pieces of that trauma.

Perhaps that is little Lucy’s unexpected gift to me.

Not to create more pain, but to gently uncover the places that are still waiting to be held with love.