Sunday, September 16, 2012

The year for freedom

 
In January, I declared this year would be about freedom...freedom from fear of any kind. As
some of you know, I ended up in the hospital right after I made my brave declaration. At first,
I was terrified being in the hospital. Around the third day though, I had a profound spiritual experience. To this day, I can't articulate what happened, but I can tell you that I went from
feeling terror to a state of pure bliss. Here I was lying in a hospital bed being tested, poked and
prodded, yet feeling completely content and peaceful to be there.
 
Since then, I've had many more opportunities to face fear. A couple of weeks ago I overcame
my fear of public speaking. I had lugged this fear around since I was 13.
 
This morning I decided that I'm ready to work on my fear of road trips. Having FMS, I get uncomfortable being in a car for periods of time. And because stress can make me sick for weeks,
I have avoided traveling. Now I'm ready to face it. I'm making some plans...
 
I also discovered I had fear concerning love. The loss of my daughter rocked my trust in love for
a long time; in deep, unexplainable ways. Because my heart felt so fragile, I wanted to protect it.
But to protect it meant to be guarded. It was hard to see myself as guarded because grief had also softened my heart, giving me more compassion. Anyway, I've been working on the fear this year.
 I feel a big shift...new changes...not so afraid anymore.
 
This has been the most amazing, transforming, challenging, awesome year. But my work isn't done.
 I have more hurdles to jump, but fear no longer has me in it's clenches. I feel freer than I ever have before. It has made a huge difference in how I interact in the world. 
 
Is fear holding you back? Find the courage to face your fears. Do the things you think you can't.

Dream big        Live large       Love deeply
 
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The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
 
JOSEPH CAMPBELL
 
****
 
 
"I am free"