Faith and patience

 I tried to get a better view of the butterfly, but now I'm glad I didn't get my way. I like how the camera picked up other colors like green and pink/red.

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I remember as a child going on car trips and bugging my parents with questions like "Are we there yet? How much farther is it?" I was in a hurry...to get somewhere...most of time it was my grandparents house...I was excited to get there...but also didn't like being cooped up in the car...I still don't...I avoid road trips as much as possible.

Today I'm more patient... but can still fall in the trap of wanting things to happen faster than they're suppose to...thinking I should be somewhere I'm not ready to be...on my spiritual journey.

I had to remind myself this morning to be grateful...to have faith...reading this prayer by

Teresa of Avila helped....

                                                                               O Lord....

If I do my best, I will be victorious,

I will fly,

but not before you give me wings.

Grant me patience.

 *******

*****

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation

but your thoughts about it.”   

Eckhard Tolle

*****

"I am exactly where I'm suppose to be"

Finding a soul mate

      I took this photo in a gift shop. This is the owner's cat, but my cat (Pippi) is the same breed. I was never a cat lover until I got my first Himalayan. And then I fell madly in love!

                                                                           
                                                                                ******

I have a couple of friends who want to find their soul mate. I remember that feeling! From the time I got my first innocent kiss at 14, I was hooked! I fell in love with being in love. And I chased that feeling most of my life. I was on a search for the perfect guy.

I would say that I was successful three times. My ex-husband, who was the father of my children (he passed away) was a good man and great father. We were together for 23 years. Although I wouldn't call him my soul mate, I had the greatest respect for him.

The second time I was successful was when I met Jack, the man I'm with today. We've been together for almost 13 years. I have the kind of relationship with him that I always wished for.

But my greatest success story was finding myself. Looking back, my ache to find a soul mate came from a woman who felt incomplete. I was empty! I wanted someone to feel the hole in me. But that wasn't possible! I first had to learn to love and accept myself.

******

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The purpose of relationship
is not to have another who might complete you,
but to have another with whom
you might share your completeness.

~ Neale Donald Walsch ~

                                *****

  "I'm wonderful just as I am"

A spiritual awakening

What a beautiful tree! The colors are amazing!

******

When I was sick awhile ago, I spent almost a month at home recuperating. It felt like a 30 day retreat.  No TV, no music, even minimal talking... I had the opportunity to be alone a lot. I wasn't up to doing many physical things so I spent a lot of time just being quiet and reflecting. It was the most amazing, enlightening experience I've ever had. I never got bored. I was peaceful and content.

When I first starting venturing outside my home again, I had to do it slowly. The every day noise of traffic, people...felt intrusive. I clearly witnessed how fast paced the world really is. It felt kind of crazy at first until I adjusted to it again!

As I began feeling better, my pace picked up. I started to lose some of the peace and contentment I had felt. Not entirely, but there was a noticeable difference. I saw how easy it is to get caught up in the outer world and disconnect again.

This experience taught me so many valuable things. One lesson is the importance of quiet time. It's in the quiet that we connect deeper with ourselves. I also learned that the world is too busy for me. I've lived a fast pace most of my life, but not anymore. I quit being a multi-tasker. And I do my best to fully give my attention to whatever I am doing. My mind still chatters aways...some times I get caught up in my thoughts and began thinking again...but before long though, I catch myself...I disconnect from the chattering, thinking mind...remembering that most of the chatter is junk.

There's no doubt that I had a spiritual awakening during my hospital stay. Although it wasn't fun to be sick, the gifts that came from it, are priceless. I now have a guide for living. I'm more appreciative of even the smallest things. And I love life more than I ever have. 

*******

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“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”

Eckhart Tolle

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" I enjoy my own company, flourishing in the solitude"

The secret to happiness

Taken near Venice beach.

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You are what you believe...your life is what you think it is...in other words, our thoughts create our reality. If you think negative, you'll be a magnet for problems. If your outlook is positive, you'll attract good fortune.

Sounds simple, right? So why would we chose to think negative? 

For me, negative thinking began in childhood. I had a lot of fears as a little girl, as well as, trust issues. Over time, I developed a negative way of thinking.

 I've worked hard to break these old patterns of thinking. It takes time and patience. You learn to ignore the chattering ego/mind and replace the bad thoughts with good ones.

I heard someone say yesterday that they wish they knew the secret to being happy. Well, the secret is this...change your thoughts...it will change your life...the happiness is within your reach.

******

Another one of new drawings. I'm enjoying using ink instead of pencil.

The only drawback is you can't erase your mistakes.

*****

The real voyage of discovery
consists not in seeing new landscapes,
but in having new eyes.

~ Marcel Proust ~

"I am free"

Accepting all aspects of ourself

Captured moments of grooming, sunbathing and napping.

*****

We all have what is called "a dark side". Below is a brief explanation from Debbie Ford's book

 "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers".

What are you hiding from yourself?
Why do we find ourselves disproportionately angry with the selfishness of a friend, the laziness of a coworker, the arrogance of a family member - or even the rudeness of a stranger? Why do the same old things get to us so easily, and so intensely? Our “same old things,” Debbie Ford explains, are clues to our dark sides - and to the emotions and traits that we fear most in ourselves.

 ...she explains how - consciously or unconsciously - we hide and deny our dark sides, rejecting these aspects of our true natures rather than giving ourselves the freedom to live authentically...she shows that it is possible to acknowledge and accept our so-called weaknesses - and that in fact, these qualities may prove to be important, hidden strengths. Perhaps a touch of “laziness” is just what the workaholic needs; perhaps some judicious “selfishness” can save us from exhaustion and resentment. .. Debbie Ford shows us how to reconcile our darker impulses, find the gifts they offer - and reclaim our wholeness once again. For more information, go to www.Debbieford.com.

The benefits of doing what is called "shadow work" is freedom; freedom from judging ourselves and others. The freedom to take off our mask. And the freedom from shame; it longer has a place to hide. We come to accept all aspects of ourself. What I call "the good, the bad, and the beautiful".

Are there things you deny about yourself, but find yourself judging in others?
Ready to face your shadow/dark side? It's not scary; it's wonderfully life changing!

******

And the day came
when the risk to remain tight in a bud
became more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin ~

****

"I accept everything about myself"

Trusting your intuition

                I think the bug was trying to hide under the rose petal, but the bee wasn't camera shy.

                                                                                ******

I don't know how many hundreds, maybe even thousands of thoughts that run through a person's mind in one day, but what I do know is most of them aren't true. There's what I call "right thinking" which comes from our intuitive self. It's a wisdom we all have which it gives us the right answers. These answers don't come from thinking/analzying; it comes from a deeper place of  "knowing".

There's also the kind of thinking that comes from ego; the opposite of right thinking. Don't believe what it tells you. Ego loves to be right, feeds on conflict, and is always looking to be better than others, but also beats the crap out of you because it wants you to feel bad about yourself.

Intuition is a great tool for living, but often people shut it down. Either they don't trust it or they don't like the direction it's giving them. Have you ever looked back on situation that didn't turn out good and see how you ignored the red flags (your intuition) because you didn't want to believe it at the time? Your intuition was telling you it was a bad idea, but your mind talked you into it anyways?

If you learn to only listen to your "right thinking/wisdom", you will be divinely guided. Life will be easier, more joyful, and you will know a peace you've never had before. The ego/mind will continue to try sucking you back into old thinking, but ignore it.

No matter how good you get at listening to your intuition, the ego/mind will continue with it's chattering...giving you bad advice...making others wrong...telling you scary stories...either puffing you up or beating you down...telling you not to trust...and all the other crazy things it says. Don't not to give it any power...don't trust it's intention (which is to hurt you)...let your wiser self be your guide instead.

                                                                               *******

I played around with some new ideas yesterday. I tried using ink instead of charcoal for outlining and found that I really liked it. With ink, I can be more detailed, making cute little squiggling lines in outlining. I also added eyes. My new girl can see life clearly!

                                                                         ********

For those who believe,
No proof is necessary.
For those who don't believe,
No proof is possible.

~ Author Unknown ~

"I am blessed with the wisdom to make healthy decisions"

Your purpose in lfe

I don't know the names of most of the plants I photograph, to be honest. I'm drawn to colors and textures. I look for things that make me feel something. Colors have always done that for me.

*****

We all have a purpose! It took me many years to figure out mine.

Until I did, I carried an empty lonely feeling inside me. I knew something was missing.

I ached with a longing for a deeper meaning to life...

I would ask myself "is this all there is"?

I was unaware that my longing was a soulful desire to know God

and to know myself.

Who was I? I was lost..

So I prayed; asking for direction.

I began spending more time getting to know myself.

I quit being afraid of the loneliness I felt when I was alone.

I came to enjoy the solitude.

I found a new best friend...ME.

My relationship with God today is intimate.

It is a source of joy and comfort.

So what's my purpose?

To be the best person I can, to help others selflessly,

and to be grateful for all the special moments that make up my life.

That's it!

Though I'm passionate about things like writing and art, they are not my purpose.

My interests change as I change, but our purpose never changes..

What is your purpose...do you feel empty...do you have an ache for more?

******

Since I'm such a craft enthusiast, I try most everything.

These little guys were my first attempt at working with clay.  

*******

Greet everyone you meet with a warm smile.
No matter how busy you are,
don't rush enounters with co-workers, family and friends.
Speak softly. Listen attentively.
Act as if every conversation you have
is the most important thing on your mind today.
Look your children and your partner in the eyes when they talk.. Stroke the cat, caress the dog.
Lavish love on every living being you meet.
See how different you feel at the end of the day.  Sarah Ban Breathnach

  *****

"I have created a meaningful life"

The practice of forgiveness

These photos were taken on my walk yesterday.

I'm taking another break from painting/artwork...in a creative slump...it will pass...time to change things around in my blog...I tend to get stuck doing things the same...change is good.

*****

In order to find true peace and happiness, one must forgive everyone...no matter what they've done...a hardened heart will not know peace...you will be stuck...a part of you will be closed off...building a wall around your heart...your judgement will suffocate your ability to love.

If there is resistance to being forgiving, look deeper...this means you haven't forgiven yourself for something...when you forgive yourself, forgiveness for others will come more easily.

Judgment of other's is a mirror...hold it to your face...look closely...what are they showing

you about yourself that you don't like...you must still angry at yourself for?

It's time to move on...let the past go...forgive yourself...you did the best you could at the time

...we've all made mistakes...some small ones, some BIG ones...it's okay...we learn from our mistakes...if you hurt someone, make your amends...be humble...wipe the slate clean

...move on...forgive...enjoy the peace and happiness you'll be blessed with.

*******

My new wall art! I found them at HomeGoods. As soon as I saw them, I was excited. I like to decorate my home with things that make me feel happy. The pink pillow puppy was a Valentine gift from a friend. I put lavender on her so she is soothing to hug.

*****

The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.

Marianne Williamson

                                *******

"I am free"

Surrendering our fears

Thinking has been a survival tool...a way I coped with fear...looking for answers...analzying...thinking that if I knew the answer, I could change the situation.

It took a lot of time and energy thinking...it separated me from heart...can't be both places at the same time...moved from my head to my heart...felt more connected.

I'm a seeker...I still look for answers today, but my answers come from within...not from my thinking mind, but my intuition...that way I am free to be present to life...to let go of worry...having faith...experiencing peace.

Peace comes from surrender...nothing to figure out...just trusting the process...trusting whatever comes my way will serve me...no more awfulizing life...expecting the shoe to drop...now I expect good things...life is a miracle.

*******

This little bird was posing for me yesterday at the park by Venice beach. So cute!

*****

I have not ceased being fearful,
but I have ceased to let fear control me.
I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown;
and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says:
turn back, turn back... Erica Jong

******

"I surrender my fear so I may live from my heart"

Things I taught myself

My mom was good at teaching me some basic life skills like managing money,

taking care of my car, homemaking, etc...but there were also things I had to teach

myself...things my mom never knew how to do.

Listening to my body...what it needs...nourishing it by eating healthy and exercising.

Asking for help...not being prideful or self-reliant...learning to trust others. 

Valuing my feelings...knowing they matter...crying is good...so is anger when it's appropriate.

Listening to my intuition...not the voice of my wounded self...differentiating between the two.

Being unique...not comparing myself to others...accepting myself just as I am.

Finding my own personal relationship with God...not a religious one...a spiritual connection.

Loving others unconditionally...no strings...no expectations...from the heart.

******

   These photos were taken at North Port Community Gardens. There were so many butterflies!

                                                                           *******

If you are humble nothing will touch you,
neither praise nor disgrace,
because you know what you are.

~ Mother Teresa ~

*****

" My deepest desire is to do what's right"

A forgiving heart

White gel pens are fun to use on dark colors! I love to draw hearts!

******

Someone once told me to pray for the people who have done things to hurt me.

At the time, I thought that was a ridiculous idea...but in praying for someone,

 it releases toxic feelings of anger, hurt, resentments...you are then freed from your ego/mind 

who wants to let hurt fester...causing you needless suffering...the ego builds steam when it can find conflict...don't put ego in charge...take your power back...pray...let it go.  

I believe in giving people lots of room for error...this doesn't mean being a doormat,

but we've all made our share of mistakes...nobody's perfect...let's not point fingers

...let's keep our heart soft...forgiving...being patient and tolerant

...practice good boundaries to avoid future resentments

...bless everyone...especially those who push your buttons

...we need button pushers to show us areas we need to work on

...they are our teachers

...what you don't like in someone else is mirroring something you don't like about yourself 

...so don't play the blame game the way children do

...take responsibility for your part...send them love

...what you give always comes back to you

...if you send hate, hate comes back

...you send love, love returns to the sender.

********

Something about both these pictures catch my eye. Taken in park near the Venice library.

******

I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
-- Martha Washington

" I have forgiven everyone including myself"

Do what you love

A friend gave me a pack of decorative tissue for Valentine's Day so I used it for her dress.

*****

Yesterday I went to the wonderful little farmer's market on Dearborn St. in Englewood. What fun!

They have so many great vendors. I came home with homemade ravioli (stuffed with walnuts and ricotta cheese), homemade granola bars (no sugar),  and quiche made with asparagus and goat cheese and freshly-made mango salsa. They were other things there too like kettle corn, a gluten bakery, a cupcake vendor, fresh seafood...

I confess to being a food lover! I feel passionate about trying new things and eating healthy.

Tonight Jack and I are going to celebrate Valentine's Day at a cozy, eclectic restaurant in Sarasota. http://www.indigenoussarasota.com/.

After I saw their menu online, my mouth was watering. They have very unusual menu!

There are many other things I feel passionate about like:

art, catnaps, teaching, photography, beach walks, biking, fellowship, my kitty, people I love, soft socks and blankets, lavender, dragonflies, solitude, good movies and books and so much more...

It's so important for your well-being to treat yourself to the things that make you happy.

I'm not talking about spending lots of money for...most things may cost you nothing.

 Create a passionate, purposeful life!

What do you love?

I used to fill my time with busyness but there was no passion behind it.

Don't fall in that trap.

Better to be still than running around...

Nurture yourself with bubble baths, candles, soft music...

Treat yourself like the precious, deserving person you are.

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                                           More new photos. Aren't the colors are incredible?

                                                                                 ****

The purpose of life...is to live it,
to taste experience to the utmost,
to reach out eagerly and without fear
for newer and richer experiences.

Eleanor Roosevelt

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"I am worthy"