Surrender

Imagine how easy life would be

if we’d leave the planning up to God.

How many times have you sabotaged

your desires by trying to do it your way?

God wants to fill our lives with riches.

So when He hands you gold,

don’t push it away.

*****

 

The hero's journey

 

A hero is someone who is willing to lose...
whatever stands in the way of the authentic self,
who has the courage to seek truth no matter what,

who sees dark times as a sacred passage...
 for new understanding,

who transforms loss into compassion,

and who uses adversity to become stronger.

 

 *****

"I know you are tired, but come this way" - Rumi

 

 

Trusting life

 

The tree knows to shed it's leaves
when a season has comes to an end.
Nature is aligned with the impermanence
of all things and acts accordingly.

When things fall apart in our lives,
the season has ended for us too.

But our tendency is to hold unto our dead leaves,

going against the wheel of life.
 

Stubborn egos and frightened hearts
cause us to cling to our illusions.
Though our leaves have already crumbled;
fear keeps us stuck in denial.
 

If we could hear our soul has to say,

we'd stop clutching yesterday's lessons,
cease our efforts to get our way,
and trust the mysterious way life works.

*****

 

A gift to you

 

Picture yourself as a women who...

 

Loves herself completely

Is passionate about her dreams

Expresses herself with graceful honesty

Is true to herself

Awakens to feeling blissfully happy

Flings open her imagination

Holds the key to her success

Freely shares her gifts with the world

Heart lessons

One of the traits I value most in a relationship is loyalty. I'm pretty certain that's because of the relationship I had with my grandparents. Growing up they provided a loving, safe refuge for a frightened little girl. Never once did I feel judged or betrayed. They taught beautiful lessons about giving from the heart...

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“Your truest friends are the ones who will stand by you in your darkest moments--because they're willing to brave the shadows with you--and in your greatest moments--because they're not afraid to let you shine.” - Nicole Yatsonsky  

Self-improvement

She came to know herself intimately...

by exploring all...

 the aspects of her character.

She did it with kindness.

And she worked tirelessly...

 to change any behaviors...

 that no longer felt right for her.

 

******

 

Claiming freedom

I wrote this post more than two years ago. I thought it'd be fun to re-visit it...

Sept 16, 2012

In January, I declared this year would be about freedom...freedom from fear of any kind. As some of you know, I ended up in the hospital right after I made my brave declaration. At first I was terrified. But on the third day I had a profound spiritual experience. I still can't articulate what happened, but I can tell you that I went from feeling terror to a state of pure bliss. Here I was lying in a hospital bed being tested, poked, and prodded, yet feeling completely content and peaceful to be there.

Since then, I've had many more opportunities to face fear. A couple of weeks ago I overcame my fear of public speaking. I had lugged this one around since I was 13.

 This morning I decided I'm ready to work on my fear of road trips. Having FMS, I get uncomfortable being in a car for periods of time. And because stress can make me sick for weeks, I have avoided traveling. Now I'm ready to face it. I'm making some plans...

I also discovered I had fear concerning love. My daughter's death rocked my trust in love for a long time in deep, unexplainable ways. Because my heart became so fragile, I wanted to protect it. But to protect it meant to be guarded. It was hard to see myself as guarded because grief had also softened my heart and had given me more compassion. I've been working on this. I can feel a big shift...changes...not feeling so afraid anymore.

This has been the most amazing, transforming, challenging, awesome year. But my work isn't done. I have more hurdles to jump, but fear no longer has me in it's clenches. I am freer than I ever have been. It's made a huge difference in how I interact in the world. 

******

 

Carrying the burdens of the past

 

If you were judged as a child,

there's a good chance you carry shame.

 Shame can take us to a dark, icky place...

where we feel horrible about ourselves.

Blaming others can become a way... 

we try to deflect this bad feeling.

But pointing fingers harms relationships. 

Shame needs to be acknowledged and healed.

Otherwise it will project itself unto others...

over and over again.

*****

Things I know



The world is a safe refuge.

I'm no longer afraid.

We’re all doing our best.

I give people room for error.

 Life is a miracle when I see it

without a distorted lens.

Speaking from the heart  

is the language of the soul .

 

Feeling connected

Often we listen to our thoughts rather than our hearts.

As a result, we end up feeling empty and confused.

Aligning ourselves with truth and listening to our gut

is the dance with God.

 

All is well

I quit trying to predicate the future
because my mind is too limited.
Instead I surrender to the mystery,
trusting in infinite possibilities,
and resting peacefully in the truth that 
life is on my side and all is well.
 



Beautiful you

If you don't know who you are,

coax your beautiful self to come out of hiding

so you can present yourself to the world.

You are special. There is no one like you.

 

 

With an open heart

If you've been hurt in the past

you may have a protective barrier

that keeps others from getting too close.

Don't let past experiences discourage you.

Better to sew up your old wounds

 than dance with old ghosts. 

Learn to be resilient; heartache is part of life.

Give up fear! Cross the threshold to courage.

Open your arms as wide as you can. 

Love, love, love the world

 and the world will love you back.

******

 

Creating more joy

 

Do you know that everything is made up of energy?
Our thoughts, actions, reactions.

And the energy we put out in the world...
always comes right back to us.

So it's as simple as this:

If you want more love, you have to give more love.

If you want more peace, your thoughts must be peaceful.

If you feel judged, stop judging others and it will change.

Every moment we are choosing our experiences.

If you're not happy with what you've created,

change your thoughts, actions, and reactions

and your life will begin to transform.

*****

 

Good self-care

 

Because most people have such busy lives, they have to move at a fast pace to keep up with things. One of the backlashes of busyness is we disconnect from ourselves. We lose our balance and our peace of mind. We feel frustrated, overtired, and often unhappy.

 

I've had some pretty tough consequences in the past regarding poor self-care. After years of stress, my body finally gave out. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue among other things. And I never even saw the train wreck coming. I was too disconnected from myself. Illness forced me to re-evaluate and change my life style. I slowed way down. I stepped away from stressful situations. I learned how to be still. And today I listen to my body. Good self-care restored my health and I live relatively symptom free...which is truly a miracle.

 

Two weeks ago I started a meditation group. It's my hope that women will use it as a way to take better care of themselves. The therapeutic benefits of having quiet time to rejuvenate is beyond priceless.

 

Sunday- 6:15-7 pm, St Nathaniel's Church, North Port. Cost $10

 

*****

 



Perfectly flawed

I used to think that intimacy meant you got along well with someone. But know I can see that getting along well with others sometimes required me to people-please. People-pleasing is not an option for me. We build healthy relationships when both parties feel comfortable enough to be who they are without pretenses.

I've been known to get mad, throw a tantrum or two (just ask my partner), act like a two-year old, and say things I wish I hadn't. I am far from perfect. But my goal is always to be myself. I don't want to be in relationships where I have to twist myself into a pretzel to get love and approval.
 

I like when people are real with me too. It helps me build trust in them. My philosophy is this - "I care about your feelings so please don't sacrifice them to make me happy. Let me be responsible for my own happiness and I will let you be responsible for yours".

*****

 

Making good choices

Do you often feel disappointed or hurt in relationships?

Do you choose broken people thinking you can change them?

It's best to choose those who are genuine, but know that
when you do, it will force you to become more genuine too.

If you're used to hiding parts of yourself, it will not be easy.

The way to create an authentic life is to love and accept
all the things that make you unique and wonderful.
In your circle of trust, select people who not only inspire you
to be your best self, but already possess the qualities
that are important to you in a relationship.

*****

 

Heart wide open

When her heart

 

split at the seam,

 

she mended it

 

with compassion.

*****

Living in reality

If you put someone on a pedestal or someone puts you there, it's a recipe for disaster. Being elevated to a level of perfection isn't realistic. Basically, it's ego playing out the role of being better than or less than. Either way, the illusion of a hero will eventually be shattered. Any relationship built on falsehood will not be sustainable.

 

Don't fill your empty void with fairy tales. See others for who they really are. Be honest with yourself about how you feel about them. And always be yourself so you attract people who are genuine in their affection for you.
 

*****

 

Overcoming the past

Doing your grief work is every bit as important as doing your shame work, anger work, forgiveness work... They are all part of the healing process. Grief's purpose is to renew us. Without grief, our sorrow becomes buried and our hearts frozen. Sorrow is 

our friend, not our enemy. We should never try to avoid it. 

As for myself, I've wept many, many times. I've wept for all the ways I've deserted and disrespected myself. I've wept over lost opportunities, regrets, and disappointments. I've wept for the little girl in me who struggled in an abusive home. I've wept for the woman who didn't believe in herself. I've wept for three broken marriages, for the loss of my daughter, and for all the people I dearly loved who are gone. I've wept for those who have been harmed by my mistakes and those who have harmed me. I have wept until I was sure I was emptied out and wept again.

 

******

 

Earning a crown

 

A queen is wise. She has earned her serenity,

not having had it bestowed on her but having passed her tests.

She has suffered and grown more beautiful because of it.

 She has proved she can hold her kingdom together...

She cares deeply about something bigger than herself...”  

- Marianne Williamson

 

From the heart

Love is soft, warm, inviting, and faithful.

It doesn't need or expect anything.

It flows purely from the heart.

 

Sharing ourselves

The first time I shared my personal story with a group of people I was trembling inside, secretly worried what others would think of me. There are parts of my life story that aren't pretty. Initially I felt raw, exposed, and ashamed. But taking the risk to be open and vulnerable gifted me with a new sense of freedom. Finding the courage to be authentic was no small miracle. I know I healed a lot of shame and fear that day, forever changing my life...

 

Share with me...

where you get the strength to get up when life knocks you down,

how the sorrow felt when you had to say goodbye to loved ones,

the ways your experiences from the past still rob of joy,

and the memories that still warm your heart.

 

*****

 

Forgiving the past

 

Doing a honest inventory on yourself will help you to recognize if you've slammed the door on someone in an unreasonable way, someone you may have once cared for. When you closed your heart off to them, it numbed the feelings, making it easier to let them go.

But it also left you hard-hearted. Your heart became wounded.

You heal by letting your heart become soft and forgiving. This doesn't necessarily mean you'll resume the relationship again. Sometimes we need to walk away...but let's make sure we've done it in a kind, forgiving manner...holding no grudges.

Be willing to look for a new perspective. What was your part?

Make peace with everyone who's shared your journey...each person has brought you a gift, a lesson...No more finger-pointing...all is forgiven.

 

*****

 

A heart that smiles

 

To know true peace, you must forgive everyone...no matter what they've done...a hardened heart will never be peaceful. You will be stuck...a part of you closed off...a wall around your heart...judgement will suffocate your ability to love.

If there is resistance to forgiving, look deeper...it could mean that you haven't forgiven yourself for something...when you forgive yourself, forgiveness for others comes more easily.

Judgment of other's is a mirror...hold it to your face...look closely...what are they showing you about yourself that you don't like...you are still angry at yourself for what...?

It's time to move on...let the past go...forgive yourself...you did the best you could at the time...we've all made mistakes...some small ones, some BIG ones...it's okay...sometimes the only way we can improve on ourselves is to make those mistakes.

If you've hurt someone, make your amends...be humble...wipe the slate clean...forgive everything...move forward. You'll enjoy the freedom that follows forgiveness...your heart will smile again.

*****

 

Sharing yourself

The Dance by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

 

...Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

...Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,

the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars

overhead make my heart whole again and again.

******

 

A new day

 

We all get the chance to begin again.

Erasing yesterdays mistakes.

 Getting a new outlook on life.

 Learning from our experiences.

As we grow, we come to new understandings.

We accept our inadequacies, our errs, our humanity.

 We sweep away old habits that don't work for us.

 Through trial and error we create better lives.

And most of all, we forgive our yesterdays.

*****

 

More room for joy

Let go of the negative aspects of your life;
fear, worry, resentments, judgment, mistakes of the past.
And nestle the wonderful parts closer to your heart.

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not;

and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

*****

 

It's time for change

"When anger becomes grief,
the healing begins"
 

I'm very excited to be starting a Women's Meditation Circle this coming Sunday. It is open to everyone. If you are interested in joining or have questions, you can contact me by email at oceanspirits@comcast.net or through Facebook.

There are so many benefits to meditation beyond the obvious ones. It's not only for relaxation and slowing down the busy mind, but also for healing. You can transform your life using your breath and your imagination. 

 

Here's a few samples of upcoming meditations: "finding your happy place", "who am I beyond ego?", "letting go of guilt", " meeting the inner child", "surrendering the past", "healing our bodies", "loving yourself"... I will include things like reiki, chakra cleansing, essential oils, EFT (tapping).

 

There's no wrong way to do meditation. Whatever your experience is, will be perfect for you. It doesn't matter if you've never meditated before. My guided meditations are simple and easy to follow. You can do it! Hope to see you...

 

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