I used to think that intimacy meant you got along well with someone. But know I can see that getting along well with others sometimes required me to people-please. People-pleasing is not an option for me. We build healthy relationships when both parties feel comfortable enough to be who they are without pretenses.
I've been known to get mad, throw a tantrum or two (just ask my partner), act like a two-year old, and say things I wish I hadn't. I am far from perfect. But my goal is always to be myself. I don't want to be in relationships where I have to twist myself into a pretzel to get love and approval.
I like when people are real with me too. It helps me build trust in them. My philosophy is this - "I care about your feelings so please don't sacrifice them to make me happy. Let me be responsible for my own happiness and I will let you be responsible for yours".
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