Learning how to regulate our nervous system is a valuable tool. This can include breath work, meditation, taking a walk in nature, or finding other ways to quiet ourselves.
Equally important is having the opportunity to process our feelings with a safe person. This is called co-regulation. Sometimes, simply being heard, understood, and accepted by someone we trust can help us feel less alone with what we’re carrying.
When I first came into recovery, I had a lot of shame. My therapist was the safest person for me to begin talking about it and loosening the hold it had on me.
Doing shame work was life-changing for that little girl inside me who had learned to hide her shame. As I became more comfortable with my therapist, I began sharing parts of my story that I had never talked about before. Little by little, healing was taking place.
It took time before I felt comfortable sharing in meetings, too. But once again, what a gift it was to find my voice and speak my truth.
My parents had shut down my voice as a child. I learned to keep things to myself, to be careful about what I said, and to hold in feelings that needed to be heard.
Recovery helped me find that voice again.
I began to understand that I didn’t have to hide my story or feel ashamed of my feelings. I could share them with people who were willing to listen without judgment.
There’s something powerful about being able to let down our guard with someone safe. We don’t have to carry everything alone.
Sometimes healing begins with simply allowing ourselves to be heard.
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