When Punishment Becomes Familiar

 Was punishment used as a way to control you as a child?

It definitely was in our home.

Threats were used to make us behave, even though I didn’t have behavior problems.

And unfortunately, when pain and punishment are familiar, we are likely to grow up and  learn how to use them against ourselves.

That’s what I did as an adult.

I was hard on myself.

I criticized myself.

I expected myself to get things right.

Somehow, I carried the voice of punishment inside me long after I had left childhood behind.

It wasn’t until recovery that my life began to take a different direction.

I began to learn something completely new.

Compassion.

Self-love.

Forgiveness.

I began to understand that I didn’t have to punish myself into becoming a better person.

I could love myself into becoming more whole.

What a different way to live.

And perhaps that is one of the greatest gifts recovery has given me:

Learning that I don’t have to hurt myself to grow.

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