Follow your heart to wherever it leads you

Picture Yourself as a Woman Who Loves Herself Completely

 Picture yourself as a woman who has faced her past and healed from it.

Picture yourself as a woman who is passionate about her dreams.

Picture yourself as a woman who expresses her feelings with graceful honesty.

Picture yourself as a woman who is true to herself so not to be false with others.

Picture yourself as a woman who is awakens to feel blissfully happy.

Picture yourself as a woman who has the soulful desire to touch her divinity.

Picture yourself as a woman who flings open her imagination.

Picture yourself as a woman who courageously throws caution to the wind.

Picture yourself as a woman who holds the key to her success.

Picture yourself as a woman who freely shares her gifts with the world.

Picture yourself as a woman who meets every challenge, believing in herself.

Picture yourself as a woman who sees herself only through eyes of love.

Picture yourself as a woman who can make mistakes, showing her vulnerability.

Picture yourself as a woman who knows her story because she is fully awake.

Picture yourself as a woman who can be a teacher, friend, sister, mother, lover

 Picture yourself as a woman who has become her own hero.

Picture yourself as a woman who honors her very existence.

Picture yourself as a woman who sets the bar high when it comes to integrity.

Picture yourself as a woman who isn’t afraid to say “no”.

Picture yourself as a woman who loves her body, imperfections and all.

Picture yourself as a woman who has the poignant gift of self-esteem.

Picture yourself as a woman who uses her confidence to inspire others.

Picture yourself as a woman who re-nourishes her spirit with solitude.

Picture yourself as a woman who thinks carefully about her choices.

Picture yourself as a woman who will risk getting her heart broken again.

Picture yourself as a woman who is intimate with herself.

Picture yourself as a woman who enjoys the magnificence of her energy.

Picture yourself as a woman who can stand up to judgment with a soft heart.

Picture yourself as a woman who takes off her mask, no longer hiding her pain.

Picture yourself as a woman who accepts life as impermanent.

Picture yourself as a woman who works tirelessly to be her best self.

Picture yourself as a woman who has tasted suffering without bitterness.

Picture yourself as a woman who illuminates the path for others.

Picture yourself as a woman who is living her purpose.

                                                                 Debbie Crews

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Five years ago, if you'd told me I'd be writing blogs, books, and designing greeting cards, I would have thought you were crazy. My last art piece was back in elementary school. It never occurred to me I could draw. My writing experience was a vague memory of my high school English class (which I hated, by the way). To top it off, I was computer illiterate. 

If I achieved what I have with nothing more than pure determination, so can you. If you've put your dreams on hold, stop. Live as every day as if it were your last.

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As I was taking a picture of the flower(above), Mr. Squirrel became so curious, he lost his fear of me. I admit he was cute. But he was too close for my comfort.

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"I'll follow my heart to wherever it leads me"

Your truest self

 I'll redo an art art piece several times until it feels right.

Mixed media art is forgiving, easy to correct. This one took several tries.

It's the same way with writing every morning. It could take up to 5 hours to finish a blog,

I'll rewrite a message until every word reflects my truest thoughts and feelings. It forces me to do honest soul searching on a daily basis. Blogging is really just allowing people to read my journal.

At one time, shame would've prevented me from exposing my flawed life. I used to be extremely guarded, only showing you the parts of myself I thought you'd accept.

 Also, I've had a core belief all my life that told me being proud of your hard efforts and accomplishments, and sharing them, was bragging and hurtful to others. For many years, I kept me quiet, living small, not letting my light shine. I was a great cheerleader for others, but abandoned myself. Once again, it was shame that squashed my spirit.

Though my intention when I started writing a blog was to inspire, it's becoming clearer that I'm also healing old wounds. There's still a woman/child within, who wants to hide her imperfections, as well as her gifts. She's more comfortable with dimming her lights. She fears being judged. Judged for being broken, judged for being healed. She would risk being suffocated to be loved. But I'm not willing to live by her rules anymore. Abandonment scarred her, I trust love will heal her. 

Blogging has exposed these hidden truths. It's really challenged me. And to be honest, I've wanted to quit. Thank God I have the wisdom to know that discovering this uncharted territory is exactly what I needed. For now, I'll continue writing while comforting the part of me who fears success as much as she fears failure. 

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Capturing the sweet essence of life

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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So.. Sail away from the safe harbor. ...Explore. Dream. Discover.  Mark Twain

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"As a dreamer, I'm not discouraged by...

I will flourish through achievement, as well as my mistakes"

Exploring our relationship with money

                                 
Being financially responsible is part of taking care of ourselves, and it builds our self-esteem.

Being financially successful is making good healthy choices about money, avoiding reckless decisions that sabotage our means to pay bills, buy food, etc. There's no security in having to live paycheck to paycheck.

The state of our economy has forced many of us to question our spending, as well as our values around it. Perhaps somewhere in the process of wanting more...we stopped appreciating what we have. And what about our children who have watched us? Will they develop an unquenchable thirst
for more?

I feel extremely passionate that every woman should have a nest egg set aside for her future, whether she's in a relationship or not. We need to protect ourselves, instead of being vulnerable to what life  brings. Twelve years ago, my husband who had never been sick, died unexpectedly. Thankfully, we had prepared financially for all possibilities.

It's taken soul searching to decipher the difference between my wants and my needs. Here's what I've come with. I need certain things to live comfortably: healthy food, reliable transportation, a safe place to live, and a savings account. I'd also include a good bed, a soft pillow, my favorite love-worn blanket, some books and maybe a little chocolate. They're pretty simple.

What your needs? Explore your relationship with money. You may discover that fear has it's nasty tentacles wrapped around not only your wallet, but your core beliefs about worthiness. Are you  sabotaging your need for security?

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This little guy was happy to pose, but those tiny little yellow butterflies just teased me to bring out my camera several times yesterday, then quickly fluttered away, testing my patience.

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What a blessing it is

to let go of analyzing life 

as a way to get answers.

Be humble and trusting

cleverly reclaiming your power

 from the egoic mind.

                                                                      
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                                                    "I have everything I need"

Life is like a box of chocolates

 We won't reach our full potential by playing it SAFE.

 Taking risks, grows strong wings.

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Oh, how wonderful those days of feeling peaceful are. But then it's gone again. Reaching to grab it back, it slips through my fingers. Often, it's when I'm focused on a task, relentlessly pushing myself to get it done. My determination steals my serenity. How I wish I could see the train wreck coming. But I don't til I'm completely frazzled, shaking my head like a bobble doll, wondering how I landed here again.

Another thief who runs off with my serenity is self-doubt. I start by second-guessing myself. One minute I'm riding the big wave in Maui, feeling all self-assured. And the next, I'm drowning in the undertow of insecurity. What the hell happened? How did I, for MILLION-TH time, allow stinky old negative thinking to feed off my vulnerability? My friend calls it "kicking the dog when it's already down".

 How clever and patient the ego is, waiting for the perfect opportunity to slip back in and suck me into a cesspool of lies. Once more, I've been slimed.

 It's humbling to admit how easily I lose footing. And though I'm grateful for self-awareness, I can't be attached to it. It's here, then gone again. Stumbling, falling, and crawling, is part of the journey.

As Forest Gump would say "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get".

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                                Photographing nature successfully quiets the chatter in my head.

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 A woman of substance is aware of her flaws and weaknesses,

and is strong enough to admit them.

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"I surrender my fears, to live more deeply"

Dancing with life

Can you dance with life? Accepting it, rather than aching for it to be different?

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I'm breaking anonymity this morning to express my gratitude for the twelve-step program, and to tell you about my brother, Joey. Joey was a lovable crazy guy who lived life on the edge. This gifted, funny, incredibly warm-hearted man, had the disease of alcoholism for 24 years.

One of my most cherished memories of Joey is when my sister and I were visiting him at a treatment center in West Palm Beach. The three of us sat together in this beautiful, serene chapel on the premises, talking about God. A true miracle. For the first time, we were all in recovery.

I had not idea that five months later, my brother would drown while scuba diving.

It was a huge loss, but I'm grateful for the precious months I spent getting to know my brother again, without the alcohol. What a gift for all of us.

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                            Joey and his wife, Brenda. This picture captures his charm.

                                               Joey in recovery, preaching to my daughter.

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Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.

Show me you can risk being completely at peace,

truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment,

and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.

Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,

the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will...

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,

the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.

And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet

and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

     from the book "The Dance" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

"Because life is fragile, I'll remember to savor every moment"

Relationships can be messy

Soulful living means whatever you do, do it with all of your heart.

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Our relationships, with both men and women, can be rewarding, puzzling, heart-warming, and aggravating, depending on the moment. I'm not claiming to be a relationship expert because I'm not. But there are some fundamental things I've practiced with good success, that might be helpful.

Relationships should nourish, as well as challenge us.

Be honest when you share.

Beware. It may get a little messy when you stop people-pleasing.

 But messy is underrated. In the long run, it builds intimacy.

I'll let you in on a secret. Put my partner and I in a car together,

we resort to acting like five-year-old siblings.

Road trips entail a lot of harmless childish bickering and finger pointing.

It's healthy for our relationship, to be free to play as children do, with each other.

Don't agree with someone to make them happy. 

Unless you want to lose their respect.

Be vulnerable. It's your most endearing asset.

Choose healthy people to be in relationships with, avoiding unnecessary injury to yourself.

Give those you love, lots of room for error. Keep your heart soft and forgiving.

And most importantly, love yourself first.

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I confess, I had to almost beg for this photo shoot. Jack was very reluctant to have his picture taken with a bunch of penguins. Who can blame him? But he was a good sport (though he did make a painful groaning noise this morning when I showed him his picture on my blog). Suppose he's having some regrets?

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Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.
- William James

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"I'll be true to myself so as not to be false with others"

Living in the solution

Less work, more play....

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Funny how I used to see my life experiences as problems, instead of opportunities. A wise, more evolved woman helped turn my thinking around.Thank God for her. Just a simple twist of words, dissolved my old thinking. I'd been conditioned since birth, to be skeptical. I was also taught

someone had to wrong, for me to be right. I dearly needed to be right. There was shame hidden behind being wrong. Yikes..

I spent too much time telling my story, building my case, so I could be right.

 I had to lose my fear of being wrong.

Telling others "my story", left me feeling victimized instead of empowered. It caused me harm.

I lived in the problem, not the solution.

It's true, people may hurt us. But teach yourself to look for lesson in the experience, rather than focus your energy on them. It may be hard at first, to wrap your mind around the fact that the people who make you the craziest, are your best teachers, bringing you the opportunity to learn a new lesson.

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I've spent zillions of nourishing hours, creating whimsical love-worn dolls (with some help from Hickety Pickety patterns).

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When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
Harriet Beecher Stowe

"In every lesson, lies the opportunity to grow"

Using food as comfort

What makes creating so special is how it puts me in touch with my story. 

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When I think of certain foods I ate as child, it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, and my mouth waters. I remember dad in the kitchen making home-made taffy, grandpa frying morel mushrooms for breakfast (at my request), mom's tiny wreath-shaped butter cookies she made every Christmas, covered with colorful sprinkles and grandma's pineapple sugar cookies. Oh yum.. The joy they brought.

No doubt, there's a child in me who still longs for her favorite things. But reality is, sugar and fried food aren't my friends nowadays. I catch myself using food as comfort. Sometimes, it feels like a soft gesture. Food's one of the ways I comforted my children. Heck, I still enjoy feeding my 29 year-old son (as long as I don't have to cook it, but that's another story). Other times, I feel guilty about what I've eaten. I struggle to find a peaceful balance.

Here's what I generally have for breakfast. Warning: may sound gross, but tastes surprisingly good.

Dr. Oz's morning shake

Fresh spinach

Celery

Apple

Ginger

Lemon

A splash of fruit juice (I love strawberry, orange juice)

Dr. Oz's recipe also calls for cucumbers, but I substitute with carrots. papaya, pears or bananas.
Put it all in the juicer, blending it until you need a straw.

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This little guy knows his purpose in life.

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Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis

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"My body not only thanks me for every effort I make to nurture it, but rewards me with feeling good"

A purpose-filled life

 I like cutting out little things like the bird you see, adding them to my artwork. It reminds me of playing with paper dolls and color forms, when I was little.

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As a young woman, my image of an ideal life was a white picket fence, marrying Prince Charming, and living happily ever after. But I've never had a white picket fence. There was NOTHING charming about my first husband, Ray. And because I was unhappy with me, how was to live "happily ever after"?

Is it crazy to be grateful my wishes didn't come true?

My hunger today is for spirituality, not unrealistic fairy tale stories I read as a child. In fact, the more flawed my life is, the more substance it has. I confess, my longing is to know God and myself deeper, and do service work. I'll call them my "soul wishes.

Can you hearing your soul calling? Listen carefully to the whisper...

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                                                    Taken at Five Senses Park yesterday.

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Maturity, struggle, and suffering awakens meaning. Wisdom comes with age. Struggle builds spiritual muscles. Suffering gives us the ability to be compassionate.

 written by Me

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"My truest desire is a purpose-filled life"

In search of yourself

The older I get, the less I desire to "fit in" and be like everyone else. I'm compelled to search for more of "ME". I'm hungry for uniqueness instead of "fitting in". I'm weary of chasing "approval". I'm inviting "more", instead of settling for less. I'm not looking to play it "safe". Instead, I'm open to exploring uncharted territory. And being a caretaker by nature, I tend to put my dreams on the shelf. As a woman, I cry to know my own "yearnings". I want passion, purpose, and faith more than I want approval, material things, or success. I want true contentment and serenity. No more seeking the "feel good" high that doesn't last long.. What is my heart calling me to do next? I don't know. It's still a mystery. Are you up for an adventure? Want to come along with me?

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Found this flower shaped mushroom yesterday on my walk. Isn't life about all possibilites?

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My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates…you never know what you're gonna get.
Forrest Gump

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"I'll reach all way to the stars, if I have to, to achieve my dreams"

Living light-heartedly

 Dandelion wishes. Star gazing. Daydreams.

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 I lean easier into life than I used to, approaching it more light-hearted.

 But it wasn't always so. To sum up my past, I was rigid, frightened, and stuck. Fear both drove and deprived me. I spent more time planning fun than having it. Life was lists and details. I held my breath often, bracing for the next shoe to drop. And boy, could I awful-ize situations. I'm sighing heavily as I write this. How did I ever tolerate living this way? My limitations were joy robbers.

So what's the secret formula that changed everything? Sorry, there was no magic wand. Believe me, I searched hard for one. I tried everything that didn't work first, before I found what did. 

Clearing out old baggage(my wounds from the past).

 Facing fear instead of running from it.

 A new perspective on life (seeing the glass half full).

Writing lots of gratitude lists and affirmations.

 Laughing at my mistakes instead of being critical.

Being willing to change everything that needs to change.

Living in the solution, not the problem.

Not taking myself, and life in general, too seriously.

Stop planning outcomes and just live on life's terms.

Finding something GREATER than myself to believe in.

            This may seem like a tall menu. But how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

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Pippi has more interest in crafting than she does wearing a Santa hat. There goes my plan to take her picture for my Christmas cards this year unless...

... I find a more willing participant.

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If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit

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"I trust you God, for everything"

Finding our voice

A colorful, flawed life doesn't disqualify you from being be a queen. If anything, it's earned you the title.

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Do you refrain from talking how you really feel, secretly worrying you'll be judged or worse, abandoned? It's baffling that we're still working hard to loosen the tight rope around our vocal cords. Don't we just want to be loved and accepted for who we are, but end up twisting ourselves into pretzels for approval instead? Why do we minimize our feelings, valuing opinions of others more? What makes us so desperate that sometimes we even allow ourselves to be abused?

For me, it began in childhood. Then I married a man who abused me. And so the story goes .. It's a vicious cycle. Waking up from this bad dream we've not only tolerated, but helped to create, we begin breaking old patterns. A quiet voice inside us whispers "I deserve better". We then, take a stand to fight for ourselves. We set healthier boundaries. People only treat us the way we allow them to. We throw out the old rule book, rallying to our new cause. Things start to shift internally. We discover self-love, and strength we didn't know we had. We now, can stand in deep waters, shouting to the world "I MATTER"..

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Taken while walking on the island of Venice. A little piece of heaven on earth.

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I  am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

 "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy

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                   "My life is unlimited"

It's your day to play

I spent yesterday doing artwork

and chasing butterflies.

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I could easily whittle away an entire day playing, as a little girl. The simplest things like collecting pretty rocks, playing paper dolls, or picking flowers was a great source of entertainment. I loved visiting my grandparents in the summer. They allowed me to play to my heart's content. I didn't feel restricted from being a child with them. I was loved and felt welcomed. And every day brought a new adventure. I always had a good imagination. It transported me off into my own little world. These are my happiest childhood memories.

The little girl who loved to play, is still in me. I can easily spend a whole day, doing what I love. Yesterday was one of those. I did manage to throw a chicken in the oven for dinner, but mostly, I followed what my heart wished for.

What kind of things did you love to do as a child? Treat yourself to a day of play. It's soothing for the soul. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Go have fun.

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Here's a special treat. Click on the arrow to play. What a sweet voice.

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"I'll always remain a child at heart"