Healing the past

The last couple months I have been dealing with some unhealed wounds. Circumstances brought the wounds to my awareness. Since then, I've been sitting in some uncomfortableness. Prior to that, I had been nestled in a peaceful place with life for quite some time. 

 

Anyway, the other morning I caught myself judging my feelings. I was saying things like "what is wrong with you...why can't you snap out of it?". Thank God for a wiser part of me that responded "we are in the process of doing some very important work...let's be kind and patient with our self".
 

Our unhealed emotional wounds (wounds going to back to childhood) get triggered and reveal themselves in certain situations. I seem to be attracting those situations. Not fun, but necessary. It's only by facing and cleaning out our emotional wounds that we become more whole. Avoidance or denial keeps us stuck. Because we are meant to emotionally heal, just as our bodies are designed to heal, our wounds will continue to get triggered for the rest of our lives unless we get real about it.

 

I'm grateful today for the clarity to know that I am getting the perfect lesson, and when the wound is healed, my life will feel a little lighter, my heart a little happier and the peace will be deeper and longer lasting.

Happy Easter to all you sweet little bunnies!!!

******

 

Try dying every day to your old self . . .

So that you emerge renewed and young again as the tired mind sheds its load . . .

 

Kristin Zambucka

 

*****

 

 

"Everything is in perfect order"

 

Dying to our old self

 

There are times in every one's life when the losses outweigh the gains, when despair is so great it is amazing we don't die from pain... During these radical times of desperation I have learned there is an opportunity.

My most powerful lessons resulted from having faced my own crucifixion - felt it, witnessed it, and died to the life I had before. I could not have resurrected stronger, and truer, without such a radical deconstruction.

... Deconstruction means letting go of the struggle...We must allow the stripping of our past selves, let every layer that isn't truth fall away, and trust that a new life lies past this curve in the road.

From the book "Growing Wings" by Kirsten Jongen.

****

Naked and on my knees...

years of good enough...

 were callously stripped away.

an angel took mercy and held my hand...

"fear not my love

good was merely insulating you...

 from vastly great".

 

K. Jongen

*****

 

"Pain transforms me when I keep my heart soft and forgiving"

Offering love to others

 

"We believe we are hurt when we don't receive love. But that is not what hurts us. Our pain
comes when we do not give love. We were born to love... The world has led us to believe
that our well-being is dependent on other people loving us. But this kind of upside down
thinking has caused so many of our problems. The truth is - our well being is dependent on
our giving love. It is not about what comes back; it is about what goes out. - Alan Cohen

 

****

So true! We must give the love we desire to have. Energetically, what we put
out comes back to us. Lack creates more lack...love creates more love. It sounds incredibly
simple and it is...but it may not be the way we've used to doing it so it will require practice.

Try it for one day. Bless everyone you come in contact with. Be kind and loving, even to
the slow, old man who held up traffic and made you late for work. I promise you that by the
end of the day you will feel the love flowing back to you. It may not come from the same
source you sent it to. That doesn't matter. It will come... Give from your heart freely.

****

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn

is unconditional love, which includes not only

others but ourselves as well.

 

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

****

"I will keep my heart soft and yielding"

Being grateful

 

Thank you God for...

 

helping me design a life of ease and grace.

 

 teaching me what's really important.

 

all the teachers you have placed in my path.

 

helping me see the world differently.

softening my rough edges.

 

filling my life with inspiration, hope, and love.

 

 the extra nudges to move forward.

 

 letting me fall when I needed to.

 

all the rainbows, as well as, the thunderstorms.

*****

 

“You cannot trade the courage needed to live every moment for immunity from life's sorrows...

 

My invitation, my challenge to you here, is to journey into a deeper intimacy with the world and your life without any promise of safety or guarantee of reward beyond the intrinsic value of full participation.” 

 

― Oriah Mountain Dreamer

 

****

 

 

"My heart is filled with gratitude"

 

Lessons about life

 

“I didn't have to scramble up and down the ladder from despair to euphoria anymore, trying to convince myself that life was either painful and terrible or joyous and wonderful. The simple truth was that life was both.” 

― Melody Beattie, The Lessons of Love

 

“I trust so much in the power of the heart and the soul; I know that the answer to what we need to do next is in our own hearts. All we have to do is listen, then take that one step further and trust what we hear..."

 

― Melody Beattie

 

*****

"I will follow my heart"

Things I know about myself

Things I Know About Myself
 

1.            I dislike confrontation, but I will stand up for what I believe in.

2.            It still hurts when people reject me, but I don’t crumble anymore.

3.            I still expect too much of myself.

4.            I have gratitude even on the tough days.

5.            I am passionate about recovery.

6.            I still give too much power to what others think of me.

7.            I’m don't run from fear anymore.

8.            I’m still working on accepting myself completely.

9.            I deeply care about people.

10.          I am strong in faith. God comes first.

11.          I make mistakes often.

12.          I forgive easily.

13.          I am stubborn at times.

14.          I am soft and bending other times.

15.          What opens my heart the easiest is the homeless.

16.          When I get stressed, I over-react.

17.          I love things that makes me feel deeply...movies, quotes, other people's stories....

You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

― Margery Williams - The Velveteen Rabbit

 

 

"I accept myself, flaws and all"

 

 

On the wings of faith

 

No matter what position I try this morning, I can't get comfortable. Having FMS is challenging...the achiness...the tight, inflamed muscles. And to top it off, my physical body is matching my insides because I feel out of sorts emotionally too. 

 

I knew when I stepped out of my comfort zone a couple of months ago to take some new risks, that it would challenge me. It has turned out to be far more difficult than I expected. This morning I asked myself the question "is all this helpful...is it worth giving up the peace you had before all this?".

 

I'm not sure I like the answer to my question because the answer is "yes".

 

As a result of taking these new risks, I'm getting to meet parts of myself that I wasn't aware were there...parts that are unhealed...parts that are robbing my confidence at the moment. I feel like one of those Christmas globes that you shake and all the glittery stuff flies everywhere. Then you watch  everything settle to the bottom. My world has been shaken up and all the glittery (and not so glittery) pieces of myself are flying everywhere.

 

Some not-so-healthy part of me wants to stop all this and snuggle back up with my warm blanket of tranquility and pretend I don't know what I know. I think it's called denial. But denial isn't a good option anymore. Tried that one for many years and all it did was keep me stuck until the pain got so great that I gave it up.

 

I can see all my scattered glitter...nothing is settling to the bottom yet...got more work to do on myself...but it's only temporary...just breathe, Deb.

 

*****

 

 

There is nowhere to go.

What you are looking for is right here.

Open the fist clenched in wanting...

and see what you already hold in your hand.

 

Oriah

 

*****

 

 

"I use faith as a warm, comforting blanket"

 

Trusting life

Saying “yes” to life will quiet...

any inner conflict.

All our experiences are...

but fleeting moments.

Nothing lasts forever.

Allow things to be as they are.

When we let go of resistance,

 

things often improve quickly.

 

Ignore any stories that fear creates...

 

  about your situation.

Tell yourself "I can accept my circumstances".

Surrender is when we no longer ask...

“why is this happening to me?”

Don't struggle to find answers.

Learn to be comfortable with not knowing.

******

I found this little caterpillar on a passionflower,

waiting patiently to become a beautiful butterfly.

****

Cease trying to work everything out with your minds.
It will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration...

~ Eileen Caddy ~

*****

"I trust what life brings"

Losing our essence

Who is the impostor?

The impostor is someone has lost their own identity.

They smile when they feel angry...

they fake excitement when they feel disappointment...

they say "yes" when they want to say"no".

As children, they lost their "wonder child"...

to become who they thought others would approve of...

in a desperate need for love and acceptance.

In adulthood...

they are still separated from their own needs...

continuing this pattern throughout their life.

This subject is close to my heart, having grown up in a home where love was scarce. I became a "good little girl" to get approval and to avoid consequences. I paid a BIG price for becoming that "good little girl" my parents wanted me to be. I disconnected from my authentic self. I lost my ability to trust my feelings. I lost confidence in who I was. It's not been an easy road back to finding the pieces of myself I left behind. I'm still working on it...

*****

There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.”

― Anais Nin

 

****

"I will be true to who I am"

A soft heart

If a space exists...
between your mind and heart,

build a bridge...
heal the gap.

The heart...
is for vulnerability...
self-honesty...

an expression of love.

The mind...
is for learning...
expanding awareness...
solving problems.

Build a bridge between the two...
find the balance...
love deeply...
think kindly.

******

These heart-openers were sent to me in an email.

****

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart"

Confucius

 

 

"Love is the journey"

Life doesn't always play fair

Pippi's favorite game in the morning.

****

Life has rules.They just may not be the ones you think.

It starts on the playground or sitting around the kitchen table as a kid. “The early bird gets the worm,” we’re told. “Slow and steady wins the race.” “Play fair and people will play fair with you.” “Good things happen to good people.” “Keep your faith, and your dreams will come true.”

From day one, these are the rules we’re taught to live by. We get them from our parents, our teacher...as we grow older, they form the foundation of our hopes, expectations, and beliefs. In theory, it’s a great system. All we have to do is treat people fairly, set positive goals, and work hard to achieve them. Since life is fair, everything works out in the end.

Here’s the catch: these rules aren’t real.

We spend a lot of time and energy avoiding and denying the Real Rules of Life. We struggle within ourselves, trying desperately not to look these truths in the eyes. And yet, by acknowledging their existence, one by one, we can begin to make peace with life.

Take the fact that we age, for example. Making peace with our own mortality, coming to terms with changes in our bodies...

 

We can also recognize that we will probably suffer heartbreaking losses and disappointments during the course of our lives...

...peace and contentment come when you understand life’s terms.

We all travel different paths in this life. Some we choose. Some choose us. The path that chose me was one of loss. It was set into motion by one defining moment that transformed my life 15 years ago. The loss of my daughter, Jenna, and my life as her father, has brought me to where I am right now: writing about the lessons I’ve learned along life’s long, uneven course.

written by Ken Druck

“Look at every path closely and deliberately,

then ask ourselves this crucial question:

Does this path have a heart?

If it does, then the path is good.

If it doesn’t, it is of no use.”

Carlos Castandea

*****

"My attitude will bring me peace or pain"

Appreciating others

One day when you are very old…

and your life is almost over,

what will matter most are the people...

 you've shared your heart with.

It won't matter...

 what kind of car you drove..

where you traveled to...

or what your career was.

 

Let your loved ones know...

how important they are to you.

Treat them kindly.

Be generous with your HEART.

****

“Your task is not to seek love,

but merely to seek and find all the barriers

within yourself that you have built against it.” 

Rumi

"My heart is open"

Faith and courage

 

Being brave doesn't mean you'll never be afraid.

 

Fear is a normal response to danger.

But it turns into anxiety if we give it too much power. 

 

Don't let fear grow bigger than your faith.

 

****

Fear is a lack of trust in ourselves, and because of this, we don’t trust Life. We don’t trust that we’re being taken care of on a higher level, so we feel we must control everything...

Trust is what we learn when we want to overcome our fears. It’s called “taking a leap of faith”...

The more you love yourself and trust Life, the more that Life will love you, support you, and guide you...

At any moment you have the opportunity of choosing love or fear. In moments of fear, I remember the sun. It’s always shining even though clouds may obscure it for a while... When the fears come, choose to see them as passing clouds in the sky...

written by Louise L. Hay

 

 

"Life is on my side"

Give everything to your passion

 

Give everything you have to your passion.

 

Be daring.

 

Hold back nothing, 

leaving no room for regrets. 

 

 

Most of the important things in the world have been

accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there

seemed to be no hope at all.

 

Dale Carnegie

 

****
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.

The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

 

Winston Churchill

******

 

 

"I will be all that I can be and do all that I can do"

Sharing ourselves with others

 

We all have a story...

 

The first time I shared my story, I was trembling inside, secretly worried what people would think of me. My life story was pretty messy. Initially, I felt raw and ashamed. Being so honest made me feel exposed and vulnerable. Yet at the same time, I felt this incredible sense of freedom. Finding the courage to do this was no small feat. I can look back now and see how healing it was to share myself so intimately.

 

***

Share Your Story with Me

Tell me about your journey...
your biggest hurtles...
your saddest moments...
what makes you laugh...
what makes you cry...
tell me if you ever feel lost...
alone...
afraid.
We aren't much different you know.
We all have a story.
Will you risk being vulnerable...
to share yours?

***

 

"I am free"

Living in abundance

I have released old negative beliefs about lack.

Today I have a more positive attitude.

My new belief is...

"I have everything I need"

I create an abundance of happiness by...

making healthy choices...

keeping a good attitude...

remembering "I am worthy".

*****

To be healthy, wealthy, happy and successful...

you need to think healthy, wealthy, happy and

successful thoughts and cancel all negative,

destructive, fearful and unhappy thoughts.

 

Sidney Madwed

****

"I have everything I need"