What your heart says

One of my greeting cards.

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Many of us were raised to "not feel". Repressing our God-given natural emotions damaged us.  Hiding our feelings forced us to wear a mask. Eventually we began to believe the false self we created was really us. But in truth, we became separated from who we were born to be.

 If this has happened to you, listen for the voice that calls you back to where you belong. Get in touch with yourself through journaling, sharing honestly with others, out in nature, or whatever method works for you. Remember; all things can be healed. Don't settle for being less than whole.

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FYI- I'm very interested in your thoughts so leave me a message in the comment box. Let's all come together and share heart-to-heart, making this more like a gathering for women.

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This guy flew down, then waddled over to me yesterday. For a few briefs moments, we connected.

I used the color orange as a back drop for this picture.

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"The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.
The challenge is to silence the mind."

~ Caroline Myss ~

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"I feel more alive when I connect with my deepest feelings"

Taking the risk to love again and again

If you've lost someone dear to you, you may have found special ways to stay connected with them.

The year following the death of my daughter was when I first began writing little inspirational books.

Looking back, I see how instrumental it was in my healing process. It was a way to stay connected to Jody. I wasn't ready to let her go. There were things I wanted to share with her so I wrote a little book called "Things I Want You to Know". "See You in My Dreams" is from that book.

                                     See You in My Dreams

 I always feared what life would be like without you. Having to face my worst fear has given me new strength and courage. I’ve learned to live bravely.

I took a lot of long walks in nature to soothe my grief. Somehow it brought me feel closer to you. Did you know that dragonflies come in a rainbow of colors? I once even held a butterfly on my finger. Was it you I held?

When you died, it was forced me to let others in. I became unraveled, needing help with even the smallest decisions. My walls of protection crumbled.

I finally moved near to the beach. Do you remember my dream of being close to the ocean? After you left, I put our home up for sale. I know you spent your childhood in that home; but don’t worry. I packed our memories and brought them with me.

Your laughter had a tinkling sound to it. It was infectious. It always made me laugh too. If I listen closely, I can still hear it.

Grief forced me to take off the mask that hid my pain from the world. All my life, I had created a false illusion of happiness. Now I’ve become more honest about my feelings and needs.

The pain of losing you brought me to my knees and closer to God.

Sometimes while I sleep, you visit me. At first, it was hard. Dreams of you made me weep with longing. But now it’s comforting. See you in my dreams.

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Taken in North Port at a community garden.

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The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.   Anne Frank

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"Though I've been hurt, I take risks to love again and again"

Slaying our old dragons

I didn't use my favorite colors for the background here, but it's good to change things up. 

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Wednesday was a day for lessons. Twice I found myself in a situation where I strongly disagreed with what someone was saying. And I told them so. I can't be fake anymore to make someone happy, or for them to like me. It felt uncomfortable, but also very freeing. Both women I disagreed with, shared common traits; they're stubborn-willed and self-righteous. This type of personality used to intimidate me into silence. But I'm learning to live bravely. I've spent too much of my life in repression. Yesterday gave me the opportunity to slay one of my old dragons, being a warrior for my own truth. What a beautiful lesson.

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Taken near the beach.

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I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes...

Virginia Satir

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"I refuse to take a back seat to my own life"

Things I've learned

                                                     Things I’ve Learned

           I’ve learned the world is a safe haven; I can let go of trying to control destiny.

I’ve learned we’re all doing our best; we must give each other lots of room for errs.

I’ve learned being miracle-minded is simply seeing life in a new light.

                          I’ve learned when you smile at the world, the world smiles back.

I’ve learned no one is responsible for my happiness, but me.

I’ve learned my words have a lot of power; they can heal or hurt someone.

I’ve learned this journey I’m on, is the perfect one for me.

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Chasing grasshoppers and bumblebees with my camera.

"Every day is an opportunity to learn and grow"

Open the door to your heart

  I layered paint to add more texture here.

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Doing a honest inventory of yourself will help you recognize if you've slammed the door on someone you once cared for. When you closed your heart, it numbed your feelings, making it easier to let them go. But it also left you hard-hearted. Then it became your wound to heal. You heal by letting your heart become soft and forgiving. This doesn't necessarily mean you'll resume the relationship again. Some relationships are only meant to be here for a season. 

Find a fresh new perspective. 

Make peace with everyone who's shared your journey.

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                           I used a different color setting for this picture (a sweet pea plant).

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What is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

 

Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?

 Can I handle the seasons of my life?

 

from the song "Landslide"

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"May I never close the door to my heart or the window to my soul"

Hear your inner voice telling you...

I haven't been playing at my art table lately so you're seeing previous artwork.

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It's impossible for me to ignore things that don't feel right anymore. That includes my actions. Paying attention to how my gut reacts to a situation, helps me stay on track. For example, a couple days ago, I put pictures on facebook of some friends and I having lunch. They were sweet  pictures; I wanted to share them. But I kept getting a nagging feeling that shouldn't publish any pictures without permission. Rather than assume my friends would be okay with it, I deleted them instead.

If you listen to the wisdom of your intuition, it will never misguide you. Put your trust in it rather than the voice in your head that argues against it. Don't get caught up in rationalizing, blaming, or defending. Hear your inner voice telling you....

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This little guy is someones Christmas present (not mine). Isn't he the cutest?

He's only eight weeks old. One day he will be bigger than me.

My son, Jeremy, and I.

My partner Jack, and Salina, Jeremy's girlfriend.

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"One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice...  We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest."  Maya Angelou

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" I trust myself to take the right actions every day"

The best is yet to come

This was done with acrylic paint, gesso, and chalk.

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My Christmas gift to you is a wish. My wish is this:

Be positive; expect a miracle every day.

Don't hang on to the past; the best is yet to come.

Let go of unworthiness; open your heart to love. 

Work hard to be your best self; make a difference in the world. 

Merry Christmas.

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              Taken at a beautiful community garden in North Port. I love the background colors.

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“Just like a sunbeam can't separate itself from the sun,
and a wave can't separate itself from the ocean,
we can't separate ourselves from one another.
We are all part of a vast sea of love...” Marianne Williamson
     

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" I am worthy"

Avoiding holiday stress

Christmas is almost here; I'm feeling quite peaceful. So far, I've avoided the usual holiday stress. 

My goal this year was to do less. Less spending, less cooking (actually no cooking), less planning, and less worrying. Doing less has brought more quality to my life. I feel healthier and happier, having more time and energy to do the things that really matter.

As far as Christmas goodies, I am well stocked with cookies, banana bread, and homemade fudge; thanks to my generous friends who still bake.

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Taken on my walk yesterday.

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“Children are happy because they don't have a file in their minds called "All the Things That Could Go Wrong.”
        Marianne Williamson

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"I treat myself with kindness"

There's a story in you waiting to be told

Creativity stretches the imagination.

 I included some torn newspaper print in this piece.

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We all have a story worth telling.

The first time I shared my story in a group (I'm not suggesting you need to do so publicly), I was trembling inside, secretly worried what people would think of me. My life story was pretty messy. Initially, I felt raw and ashamed. Being so honest exposed my vulnerability. But at the same time, I felt a new sense of freedom. Finding the courage to be authentic was no small miracle. 

I healed some old shame that day, forever changing life as I knew it.

                                                     Share Your Story with Me

Share your story with me. Tell me how you found the courage to face your fears.

Share your story with me. Tell me how it felt to touch your deepest sorrow.

Share your story with me.  Tell me how you faced being alone to heal abandonment.

Share your story with me. Tell me how you risked being vulnerable to love again.

Share your story with me. Tell me about your journey.

I hope you'll share your story with me.   Debbie Crews

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FYI . Blogger requires you to do a couple of things before you're able to write in the comment box, but don't let it discourage you. They give you several options. I'm told that Goggle is the easiest. So sign-up; it'll be fun. 

                                                     Taken at a park near Venice beach.

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Show me how you follow your deepest desires,

spiraling down into the ache within the ache,

and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward,

to feel...        by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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"I create sacred intimacy when I let my guard down,

sharing my truest self ."

Tis the season to be grateful

Can you believe Christmas is almost here? I don't know about you, but I've had some pretty rough holidays in the past. Most of my family members are gone now, taking old beloved traditions with them. I went through a phase where I felt like little orphan Annie, but it has passed.

I've come to accept the peaceful simplicity of new traditions. I'm grateful for what I have. My wonderful son, his loving girlfriend Salina, my beloved sister, the most awesome women you'll ever meet, and a partner who is also my best friend. And of course, Pippi, my cat; who thankfully hasn't tried to climb the Xmas tree or use the ornaments as kitty toys. I'm serenely happy (most of the time), yet fully aware how fragile life is. I live; one day at a time.

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FYI

Your comments are important. Feel free to share your feelings about the holidays or whatever you wish. I was informed that entering comments in the box below may be a little challenging. If so, don't let it discourage you (and if someone knows an easier way, please let me know). Facebook or email is another option. I look forward to connecting with you.

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I woke this morning with an unsettled feeling that I needed to tweak some of the words on my poem yesterday, so I did. I hope you'll go back and reread it.

Wishing you a beautiful holiday.

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My favorite Christmas party. Witnessing the purest kind of joy, warms my heart with gratitude.

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"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success... Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melodie Beattie

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"I see the face of God in everyone I meet"

Share your story with me

The flower at the bottom right-hand corner was once a piece of  tissue paper.

It's fun thinking up new ideas. Glue sticks are one of my favorite art supplies. 

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Here's my truth. I was beginning to feel discouraged with blogging. After careful thought, I realized how important it is for me to make a connection with the women who read this. Without your feedback, my passion starts to dim. I love sharing my story, but I'm equally inspired by yours. We're simliar, right? As women, we've all had some kind of experience with abuse, loss, repression, abandoment, and rejection. And aren't we all working to overcome it? I say we do it together.

My message this morning is this; Let's celebrate our differences, as well as things we have in common. Let's take off our masks, expose our hearts, and face our fears together. Let's put a stop to abuse, repression, and loneliness. Let's build a strong team by taking this journey together.

Are you on board?

   In case you missed it, here's what I wrote yesterday.

FYI- your feedback is an important part of my experience with blogging. It helps me know if I'm targeting areas that speak your heart. Plus, I love when women share, helping each other. Please feel free to write at the bottom of the page specified for comments. You can also use email or facebook, whatever is comfortable for you. I don't want to be the only one who's vulnerable, so how about joining me?

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 What's the secret to taking good pictures? A cheap camera and lots of patience. What turns ordinary into extrordinary? Awareness. How many times have I walked by the same bush or dragonfly without really seeing it's true beauty? The same goes for people. When we look more deeply, we see God in everyone.

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Share Your Story with Me

Share your story with me. Tell me how you found the courage to face your fears.

Share your story with me. Tell me how it felt to touch your deepest sorrow.

Share your story with me. Tell me how you faced being alone to heal abandonment.

Share your story with me. Tell me how you risked being vulnerable to love again.

Share your story with me. Tell me about your journey. 

                         
                                   I hope you'll share your story with me.     Debbie Crews

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"I will shine as brightly as the biggest star on a clear night"

Waiting for the miracle to happen

After several attempts at drawing hair, I realized she was perfect without it.

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There's a saying in the twelve step program "don't give up until the miracle happens". The first time I heard it, I was puzzled as to what it meant. But those simple words came at a time when things felt hopeless. I clung to them like a drowning person to a life rope. It gave me hope.

The saying was true. A miracle did happen for me, sometime after that day.

The miracle seems to happen the moment before you're ready to give up, so don't lose faith.  

If you're going through a difficult time, hang in there until your miracle happens.

FYI- your feedback is an important part of  my experience with blogging. It helps me to know if I'm targeting areas that speak your heart. Plus, I love when women share, helping each other. Please feel free to write at the bottom of the page specified for comments. You can also use email or facebook, whatever is comfortable for you. I don't want to be the only one who's vulnerable, so how about joining me?

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I've been taking the camera on all my walks lately, so not to miss an opportunity.

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“A queen is wise. She has earned her serenity, not having had it bestowed on her but having passed her tests. She has suffered and grown more beautiful because of it....She cares deeply about something bigger than herself...

Marianne Williamson

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"I'll practice being miracle-minded today"