Looking for comfort

What happens when we're too attached to comfort? We develop a self-defeating pattern of avoiding things we don't like. We become addicted to feeling good. We build what we think is a safe cocoon called "denial". In order to stay in denial, we will habitually reject the parts of our lives we don't want to face. And the harder we seek comfort from others, material things, achievements...the more it backfires on us. It forces us to live in a state of desperation. We adjust to living desperately and accept it as our "normal".

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Going numb

“Abuse manipulates and twists a child’s natural sense of trust and love.

Her innocent feelings are belittled or mocked and she learns to ignore her feelings.

She can’t afford to feel the full range of feelings in her body while she’s being abused—

pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion. So she short-circuits them and goes numb.

For many children, expression of feelings, even a single tear, is cause for more abuse.

Again, the only recourse is to shut down. Feelings go underground.”  

 

― Laura Davis

 

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A safe place to share

“Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky.
If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.”  

― Brené Brown

 

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Embracing feelings

When you surrender to facing your pain, sorrow,
disappointment, anger, or any other emotion you've denied,
is the exact moment when a miracle begins to happen.
 
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Owning your feelings

 

Picture yourself as a woman who

 

allows herself to feel all her emotions

 

(anger, hurt, sadness, disappointment...)

 

without judging them.

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The most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don't have any.

~ Alice Walker ~

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Courage is like a muscle.
We strengthen it with use.

~ Ruth Gordon ~

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You may be disappointed if you fail,
but you are doomed if you don't try.

~ Beverly Sills ~

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A moment I remember

The photo was taken by Kirsten Bole.

                                                      

The first homeless person I ever saw was over forty years ago.

I can still picture the old woman's weathered face...

her tattered clothing.

She touched a deep place in me...

a place of compassion.

I felt saddened by her circumstances...

and though we never spoke...

I felt a kinship with her in some odd way.

It was just a moment in time...

yet I still think of her after all these years.

Is there someone that left an imprint on your life? Maybe you helped them or they helped you...a simple smile...a hug...a kind word...

 

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If you put your heart against the earth with me,

 

in serving every creature,

 

our Beloved will enter you...

 

we will be so happy.

 

Rumi

 

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"My purpose in life is to be of service"

The heart of a child

A trip to the zoo

 

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No matter how old I get, I'm still a kid at heart.
Going to the zoo in South Carolina was fun.
We should never lose our zest for life...
a playful wonder child that we all have within us.

I remember the things I loved as a little girl...
 like the taste and smell of homemade taffy,
sitting by the crackling fireplace and feeling a safe warmth from it,
the sound of leaves rustling in the wind as winter approached,
digging in my grandpa's garden,
my sister and I sharing a bag of candy on the curbside.

I still have a little girl in me...
 who loves taffy, fireplaces, leaves, gardens, spending time with my sister...

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After today, I will only be posting my blog once a week. As much as I love writing daily, my shoulder hurts when I'm on the computer...so I'm taking a break.

 When I started blogging just a little over a year ago, I had no idea how much joy it would bring me. You are the reason for that. Thanks for your support.

So for now, I'll being posting only on Fridays, starting this week. 

FYI- on the right-hand side under blog archive, it lists all the topics I've written about this past year.
If you are being challenged with an issue, this reference may be helpful to you on days that
I'm not writing. God bless!

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 "I am at ease with change"



Loving yourself

If I could teach you anything…

it would be…

to know yourself intimately.

Don’t focus on other’s people’s lives…

live your own life…

unearth your passions and purpose.

Be friends with your feelings…

they are important…

treat them with respect - honor them.

Celebrate your wonderful self …

you are special…

there will never be anyone else like you.

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"Passion is a mystical passage to creating
a life of authenticity.
Following the desires of our soul
connect us to our true spirit."

 from my book "The Gift of Love"

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"My feelings matter"

Softening our pain

“Sadness... is not the opposite of happiness. The opposite of happiness is a closed heart.
Happiness is a heart so soft and so expansive that it can hold all of the emotions in a cradle
of openness. A happy heart is one that is larger at all times than any one emotion.
 An open heart feels everything – including anger, grief, and pain – and absorbs it
 into a bigger and wiser experience of reality."

                                    

Elizabeth Lesser

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“While pain is real, a good portion of what we feel is
not the pain itself, but our resistance to it. 
The false ego uses pain as a defence mechanism,
and in doing so magnifies our discomfort tenfold. 
In fact, we rarely experience the pure sensation of pain. 
Instead, we layer on top of it fear and
 anger, judgement and anxiety. 
When pain arises, we have choice to make... 
 We can resist the pain, or we can soften our resistances,
experience the raw sensations,
and move through them into an expanded consciousness.”

Elizabeth Lesser

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“Learn to master the challenges of life –
harmonize mind and body,
overcome habits and destructive behaviours,
learn to relax...
face life and the world openly and without fear;
 tap into the miracle that is living.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

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"My faith lifts me above my fears"

Feeling content

My recent trip to Naples. A quick getaway!

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Sometimes we think that once we have something we always wanted, we'll finally be happy...

if we just had the right friends, met the right guy, got the right job, had more money...

then we'll be happy, right? Wrong!

This kind of happiness has a short shelf life...
only fleeting moments...
then it slips through our fingers...
here and gone again.

The truth is that if we can't be happy without something,
we won't really be happy with it either...
for very long.

True happiness comes from how we feel inside...
the relationship we have with ourselves...
the way we are living our lives...
how much gratitude we feel...
and what we contribute to the world.

Don't depend on external things for your happiness.

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Pippi- trying to sneak in my overnight bag. I guess she wanted to go too. 

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"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have." --Unknown

"I have everything I need to be happy"

Learning and expanding

I love sharing articles like the one below. There was a time in my life when this kind of information would have challenged me; my thinking used to be very rigid (black and white, nothing in-between). One of ways I've grown is being more open-minded...letting go of my judgement...trying out new thoughts and ideas. It has changed my life! Today, I not only continue to work at expanding my consciousness, but I also love teaching others to do the same.

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Life might have taught you that emotions are dangerous. Perhaps as a child, you were told things such as, “Don’t you cry or I’ll give you something to cry about!”—an emotionally tyrannical message that certainly would have taught you to suppress your feelings at all costs. Perhaps your emotions were ignored, minimized, or even laughed at by parents who had other things and other children to think about. What matters is that, for whatever reason, you learned at a very young age to neither honor nor even really feel your own feelings.

An emotion swept under the rug is not an emotion that goes away; it’s simply an emotion that is put somewhere other than where it should be put... stored within you rather than being released. If you’re too frightened to feel a feeling, its energy still has to go somewhere. Actually, an emotion is not dangerous until it’s disowned... The only feelings you really need to fear are those you ignore...

Marianne Williamson

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"We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are."

-- Talmud

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"I open my mind to new possibilites"

Feelings of hurt

When driving home, I happened to catch a glimpse of this beautiful flowering tree along side the road. Lucky for me, I had my camera.

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Melody Beattie- The Language of Letting Go

Feelings of hurt and anger can be difficult to face. We can feel so vulnerable, frightened, and powerless when these feelings appear. And these feelings may trigger memories of other, similar times when we felt powerless.

Feeling hurt doesn't have to be so frightening. We do not have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun as feeling happy, they are, still, just feelings.

We can surrender to them, feel them, and go on. Emotional pain does not have to devastate us.

Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to get hurt. Real power comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we can take responsibility for all of our feelings.

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Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires,

and a touch that never hurts.

Charles Dickens

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"Even if I get hurt, I'll take risks to love again and again"

Suffering in silence

                                                                          Love pink!!!!

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Off and on for years, I suffered quietly... I suffered from low self-esteem, loneliness, hopelessness...  I put on a false mask of happiness...ashamed to show others I was hurting.

 I know I'm not the only one...

I believe there are more people suffering in silence than not. If you're one of those people, talk to someone about it...don't suffer alone...sharing will help you.

We all need a comforting shoulder to lean on sometimes...being too self-sufficient only isolates you...keeps you stuck. You may tell yourself that others don't care...but they do.

For me, it was shame that held me back so many years from talking about my feelings. I was taught as child to keep my feelings to myself...no one wanted to hear them...just to suck it up. That message was damaging. It's not the way I do things anymore...sharing my pain is therapeutic...necessary for my well-being...and yours too.

Reach out...let someone help you...sometimes the hardest thing we have to do is also the right thing we have to do...find the courage...practice good self-care...put an end to suffering in silence.

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 I've been doing more reading than creating art, but here's a new one.

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There is no agony like
bearing an untold story inside of you.

Maya Angelou 

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"It is safe to put my trust in others"

Expressing your feelings

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I grew up in a family where no one talked about their feelings.

Everything was swept under the rug.

It wasn't until I started on a path of recovery that I began to understand...

...that this wasn't healthy.

At first, I felt shame...

...talking about how I felt.

I wasn't used to exposing my deeper thoughts.

I feared others would judge me...

...but no one did.

Being free to talk about my emotions opened the door

...to a whole new way of life.

I will never again...

....suppress my voice.

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I'm always inspired when I hear women's stories.

It takes great courage to be vulnerable.

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People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed
only if there is a light from within.

~ Elizabeth Kübler-Ross ~

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"I will honor all my feelings"

From blissful to crabby

I woke this morning with feelings of disappointment and even some anger. I'm usually pretty good at accepting things, but there's a particular situation right now that I don't like..I feel my resistance...it's causing me pain...but there's a stubborn part of me hanging on...so I haven't surrendered it yet...I will though...I really don't want to harm myself with unnecessary...

The situation I'm talking about is too complicated to explain, but the point is: resistance and attachments are two things that cause people to suffer.

Acceptance is the path to peace.

It's odd to watch how attached I am at the moment to wanting things my way...ughhh...

I have developed an aversion to needless pain and suffering so I'm certain this lesson will be a short one...but for the moment...I feel crabby...ick...I haven't had that feeling in a long time either...being crabby, wanting my way, not accepting...I won't justify my behavior...I'm just telling on myself...sharing my humanity.

I recently had a month of feeling blissful, but as the saying goes say "this too shall pass".

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To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad.

Eckhart Tolle

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"I will surrender my will"