Half Measures Avail Us Nothing

 Today, the pain is ramped up high.

And on a day like this, I have to remember what it took for me to get sober.

And what it took for me to find my way into Al-Anon.

Both times, there was a lot of pain.

More pain than I ever imagined I could carry.

I never dreamed I would work as hard as I did in both programs.

But I did.

I’ve surprised myself over and over again.

In the beginning, I was motivated by pain.

But somewhere along the way, something changed.

I became motivated by desire.

I wanted to heal.

I wanted to understand myself.

And I came to deeply love both programs and the gifts they have given me.

I love sharing what I’ve learned with others.

Now, here I am again.

Another kind of pain.

Another place where I’m being asked to look deeper.

I have a feeling that this pain may be pushing me toward another kind of healing.

I don’t know exactly what that will look like yet.

But I know one thing about myself:

I don’t do well with half measures.

When I finally decide to walk through a door, I walk through it.

So perhaps this is another doorway.

Another opportunity to surrender.

Another opportunity to learn.

And another chapter in a journey I never expected to take.

I’ll be talking more about that in the chapters to come.