New Beginnings

 It seems I’m moving back in a direction I haven’t been in for about fifty-five years.

I recently colored my hair back to its original color.

I had been blonde since I was fourteen.

But not anymore.

And somehow, it feels symbolic.

There have been other changes, too.

My weight has fluctuated quite a bit. I lost thirty pounds while eating a very restrictive diet because of my bladder issues. Before that, I had reached a size I had never been before.

But today, I stepped on the scale and realized I’m back to the weight that was once my original weight.

I find myself wondering about all of this.

Maybe this isn’t about going backward.

Maybe it’s about coming back to something more natural.

Something simpler.

Something that feels more like me.

I don’t know exactly what this new beginning will look like.

But I’m curious about the woman who is emerging.

And for the first time in a long time, I’m not trying to make her into anything.

I’m just watching her become.

When I look in the mirror, I see my authentic self. 

Probably the person I was trying to get away from for many years, but now it feels like home.