Being the Safe Adult

In order to help our little girls feel safe

and begin to heal the wounds of the past,

they need a place where they can feel their feelings.

And they need a safe person.

That person is you. That person is me.

When you look back at your childhood,

what was missing?

What did that little girl need

that she didn’t receive?

Is she still looking for it?

Or did she tuck those needs away so deeply

that she no longer knows they’re there?

I had safe family members in my life.

My grandparents loved me dearly.

But they didn’t live in my house.

So for the majority of my childhood,

my needs weren’t met.

So I learned not to expect much.

I learned to take care of others

while ignoring myself.

Today, I am still discovering unmet needs.

I can’t change what happened to her.

But I can change what happens now.

I can remind her that her feelings aren’t too much

and her needs aren’t a burden.

She needed someone who wouldn’t leave her alone

with her fear.

And today,

that someone is me (and you).