Heart lessons

Reading the article below evoked a lot of feelings in me yesterday.

Feelings of sadness, admiration, compassion, grief... It put me in touch with my own truth about death, having lost a child too. Losing someone you love may violently shove you into a dark passage...you feel alone....you're forced to face your fear of abandonment...but after awhile, being alone is warm and comforting.

To grieve a loss means to surrender. Your heart physically feels like it's breaking...but maybe it's really just expanding...old walls of protection are crumbling...you become more vulnerable.

There's something about grief that makes you feel more alive than you've ever been...you go deeper emotionally than you ever have...you find new strength...you find new purpose...pain transforms you...you emerge from the tunnel different than you were....life will never the same...you will never be the same...plastic parts of your life fall away.

Faith gives you glimpses of hope...you move forward...your life isn't over like you thought it would be...you find the courage to begin again.

You then, have a responsibility to take the lessons you've learned about love and letting go and pay them forward...help someone else...comfort them...change lives...serve.

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Lessons of Lily, Sarah, and Grace 

                                                                         

For those of you who haven’t heard this unspeakably tragic story, Madonna lost her daughters and her parents in a house fire on Christmas morning. As the fire fighters pulled her away she said to them, “my whole life is in there.”
I can say I have never heard anything of which I was more certain that that. Those five people were her life. She was limitlessly committed to them, her life revolved around them. She would have died for them.
We went to the funeral yesterday, pre-judging her by the expectations we would have of ourselves in those same circumstances. That simply to breathe would no longer be possible. That existence itself would be more than we could bear. We expected to find a broken woman.
Instead we found a woman whose strength filled a church of well over a thousand people, and who left me with a personal reference point that is unshakable.
That life is an opportunity. A chance. An unimaginable gift.
And we should treat it that way. Every day...

from the mother's eulogy
Lily, Grace, and Sarah are not here with us today and they won’t be here tomorrow and I am trying to come to terms with this.. But I feel very strongly and the reason why I wanted to speak to you today is to let you know who my girls were.. my little girls are not gone from us entirely because my girls are in my heart they’re right here and this is where they live now.. And I want you to remember my girls... they were my little girl tribe...

I have been asked a million times, ”how can you do this, how are you talking, how are you surviving?” Because when I used to hear about people losing a child, or if a child got very, very sick, I would say, “I could never survive that. I could never live through that, I could never, ever, ever live through losing my babies.” But here I am.

 I was a daughter and a mother, and I still intend to be both, so I can make my girls proud and carry them forward in love. This love, I am realizing, is to be my children’s legacies because they left the world at such tender ages that all they left behind was love.
And I think and I pray and I hope that it is all of our great responsibility to spread that love. And for me, God does not call on us just to love because that is too easy. He also calls on us to be of service. Service to our friends, our families to those we know and those we don’t.
So the message I want to share today, on behalf of Lily and Sarah and Grace, is that we can talk all day long about love, but love without service is not enough...

FYI- I wanted to give the person who wrote this article credit for sharing this remarkable story, but I couldn't locate their name.

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There are other kinds of loss besides death. There's the loss of a dream, a relationship, a job, your health... Going through the grieving process is the only way to make peace with your loss. Shoving your feelings down will keep you stuck. Grief...letting go... surrendering...moves us forward...have faith...beautiful new possibilities waiting for you for your arrival.

Healing from co-dependency

Headbands and ponytails... makes me feel young again.

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Here's a good question to ask yourself; what am I ready to change?

My answer is this; co-dependency. It's a painful condition to have to live with.

Years of working on it has greatly enriched the quality of my life.

And I have a good feeling about this year;

 things are going to get even BETTER yet. 

Author Melody Beattie has been instrumental in my recovery. Her wisdom has guided me.

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                                                                     Melody Beattie

Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don’t be yourself.

Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don’t need to be anyone else.

The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.

We may think others won’t like us.

We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away... 

We may worry about what the other person will think, but when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed...

If others don’t appreciate us, do we really want to be around them?

Do we need to let the opinions of others control us and our behavior?

Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships....We relax. The other person relaxes...

Who we are is all we can be, all we’re meant to be, and it’s enough...

                                        

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                                                                     A picture of cuteness. 

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Friendship with ones self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

"I'm the most important person I will ever meet"

Recipe for love

I did a little experimenting with letter art using the word "wisdom". It was fun.

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Accept the fact that you are not perfect,

and that other’s may not always approve of you.

Love yourself.

And as you begin to love yourself,

stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors,

dysfunctional relationships, negative self-talk... 

Learn more about love...

how much to give,

when to hold on,

and when to let go.

       Don't look for someone to make you feel happy.

People can only enhance our happiness.

 Make yourself happy.

Love and accept who you are.

You are wonderful.

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I did not realize when I was sniffing and rubbing this pretty lavender wildflower against my face that there is a bug in it. Yikes!!!!

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The Tortoise and the Hare

Determination brings us closer to our dreams. Sometimes we have to look fear in the face

and say "I won't be listening to you anymore".

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A funny thing happens when my life gets too busy.

A turtle shows up.

Remember Aesop's Fable: The Tortoise and The Hare 

This is a famous story of a race between the tortoise and the hare. It's best known for teaching us that "slow and steady wins the race." The foolish hare takes a nap during the race with the tortoise, and as a result the tortoise - who keeps plodding along, slow and steady - is able to reach the finish line first. He wins the race.

When I see a turtle, I'm reminded to slow down.

Do turtles show up in your life too?

We achieve our dreams by plodding along (like the tortise) rather than by being fast (like the hare).

I need reminding.

 

I often forget this important lesson.

hurry, push, faster... is not the way.

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Met this big fella in Shamrock Park. He just came over to me as though we were old buddies.

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Set your sights high, the higher the better.
Expect the most wonderful things to happen,
not in the future but right now.
Realize that nothing is too good...
~ Eileen Caddy ~

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"Life is a series of little moments"

Barriers that block our happiness

My love for creating started when I was young....a coloring book and crayons ... hours of entertainment...it comes from the heart...we all have it.

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Be HAPPY!

Being happy means to be joyous, blissful, merry, gratified, radiant, contented...

How do we achieve happiness?

 Removing the barriers; anger, negativity, strong attachments, fear, resentments...

Replacing it with love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness...

Your happiness can make a DIFFERENCE in someone's life...

....be a shining light of HOPE

....keep your heart SOFT with gratitude

....have FAITH

...LOVE yourself completely

... all parts

...the GOOD, the BAD, and the BEAUTIFUL.

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There's nothing ordinary in life, whether it's a simple leaf or a barren tree. The lens through which we view the world determines our experience with it. I once viewed the world through wounded eyes, seeing only the pain. Healing my wounds transformed pain into passion.

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"I am free of any barriers that block my happiness"

Things I hold dear

Things I hold dear...

the quiet

 a good book

 nature

creative time

solitude

family

friendships

helping people

my feelings

 food from the garden

simplicity

belly laughs

babies, puppies, and kittens

good health

memories

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  What's dear to you? I encourage you to share in the comment box below.

                                          My tiny computer room where I do my blogging.

Pippi entertaining herself in my creative corner/dining room table.

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Praise Yourself. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. Louise L. Hay

"I surrender my smallness to become all that God created me to be"

A change of heart

 I often create several art pieces in one sitting, but may end up with only one that excites me.

It's the same with photography. It's easy to snap 75 photos, but I may only get a couple that I like.

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I wasn't always optimistic.

For the first 40 years of my life, I was pretty negative.

I spent too much time regreting the past and worrying about the future.

I was often unhappy and rarely peaceful.

I lived in fear of everything.

But many things have changed over the years..

I'm hopeful.

I'm happy.

I have faith and I trust...

I've given birth to a meaningful life.

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Forgive yourself. Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness and knowledge you had. Now that you are growing and changing, you will live life differently. Louise L. Hay

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                   "My heart is soft and forgiving"

Loving yourself heals every problem

 On this cold morning, I decided to stay snuggled in my warm bed until 7:00. I'm so grateful for my cozy flannel sheets, my soft pink blanket and my cuddly cat, Pippi. 

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The first woman author who had a huge impact on my life was Louise Hay. Her insightful teachings took me in a new direction at a time in my life when I had no direction. It has been transforming. I'd like to share some of her teachings with you. So it won't be overwhelming, I'll only offer one new thought each day. Here we go:

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.
Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure..  Let’s begin to love ourselves now.

1. Stop All Criticism.
Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are.
                                                               Louise L. Hay

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I never know what interesting creatures I'll meet when I venture out with my camera.

"I surrender my need to seek validation outside of myself

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Loving an imperfect life

I got my paint and brushes back out yesterday after taking a holiday break.

 Still having fun drawing angels with sweet rosy cheeks.

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Loving an Imperfect Life

   Let's love life as it is. Not putting our happiness on hold, waiting for life to get better. It's already good.

Let's accept where we're at. Avoiding the longing to be somewhere we're not ready to be. Life isn't a race; it's a journey.

Let's resist the impulse to be more. We are enough. We don't need to give up being who we essentially are.

Let's release our attachment to being nice. It's how we set ourselves up to be abused.

Let's not be discouraged by our failings. Making mistakes is the way we learn to do better.

Let's welcome our imperfect lives. Knowing that in some mysterious way, it is perfect.

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                                         Notice the contrast in colors. Taken on Venice Island.

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Often people attempt to live their lives backwards:
they try to have more things, or more money,
in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse.
You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do,
in order to have what you want.

~ Margaret Young ~

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"I will love myself just as I am"

Twenty seconds of courage

I always appreciate when someone is honest and direct with me. It saves me from having to second guess what they're thinking or read between the lines when they talk. I know (because I'm still a people-pleaser) that it can be uncomfortable telling someone how we really feel. But it's the way to build trust in a relationship.

If you have problems with being direct, can you muster up 20 seconds of courage to be honest (this idea came from a movie)? That's all it takes. Just a few seconds of courage can change your life dramatically. Don't let fear of what the other person may think, stand in your way. This is about you (and I) learning to be our authentic self. And in the end, honesty earns respect.

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                                 Don't you just want to snuggle in the pink softness of this rose?
                                                        Taken at a park on Venice Island.

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"Do you really want to look back on your life
and see how wonderful it could have been
had you not been afraid to live it."

~ Caroline Myss ~

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"I strive for more wholeness"

Making healthy choices

 

My goal today is throwing out the junk left over from the holidays. I can't face another cookie. As much I've enjoyed grazing all month, I'm ready to get back on track. Another goal today is spending my gift certificates from Christmas. Once they're gone, I'll be done with shopping for awhile. And lastly, it's time to get back to exercising (I'll save that one for tomorrow).

I feel good about my goals. Nothing too hard or unrealistic. Just simple loving ways to practice good self-care. I know myself well enough to know that I won't be doing these things perfectly. That's okay. I'll just give it my best, knowing my best varies from day to day, but is always enough. 

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I got my camera real close on this one. Luckily for me, the little bee was busy.

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Remove those 'I want you to like me' stickers from your forehead
and, instead, place them where they truly will do the most good --
on your mirror!
~ Susan Jeffers

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 "I treat myself with love and kindness"

The best is yet to come

This year has come to an end and a new one is beginning. Though I've no crystal ball to predict the future, there are certain things I know I can count on to happen: 

I will have good fortune, as well as disappointment.

 I will build new relationships, and maybe lose some.

I will take new risks, sometimes with success, and other times, falling on my face.

I will experience more joy and more sorrow.

Ahead, will be many new milestones, miracles, adventures, and opportunities/challenges.

But most of all, I know: the best is yet to come.

The beginning of a New Year is time for reflection and setting new goals. My committment this year is simply this; try to be my best self, create my best life, and do service work to help others.

What is your wish for the New Year?

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 It took me awhile, but I finally got a new dragonfly picture. I've been chasing these little guys for weeks. That was part of the fun though. This fellow doesn't have much color, but he's still special.

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If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we are not really living.
Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.

~ Gail Sheehy ~

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"I open my arms to the richness life brings me"