Being yourself

A “good girl”…

doesn’t let you know when she’s mad or hurt…

seldom makes requests because she feels selfish for asking…

does everything she can to avoid feelings of being mean, insensitive, selfish…

doesn’t disagree or express negative feelings directly.

 

 

She learned this as a child…

as a way to fit in and be accepted.

She thinks making others happy

lessens her chances of being rejected.

 

But a good girl isn't happy herself…

 because she has to stifle...

 

 the essence of who she really is.

With determination…

she releases the old belief…

about being good…

learning how to be more real...

 

and most of all,

 

loving and accepting herself.

****

 

Courage is never to let your actions

be influenced by your fears.

 

~Arthur Koestle

*****

"I will be true to myself "

Fear of rejection

 

It's interesting how I spent a great deal of my life trying to be a good person. I was raised with the belief that good little girls will get love and acceptance.

 

 Well, that belief just isn't true. If I'm trying too hard to be nice, people will take advantage of me because I have poor boundaries. Second of all, I always felt like an impostor anyways. Actually, I was an impostor. I would do things for others that didn't feel right for me. I was being false because of my need for acceptance.

The good news is the impostor is gone. What I do for others today comes from a genuine place. I don't seek love or approval anymore. I don't have to. Love is everywhere. It always was. But I was blinded by fear...fear of rejection...fear of being alone. The wounded child in me has healed. The fear is gone.

 

******

 

Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.

What you see reflects your thinking.

 

Course in Miracles

 

*****

 

 

"There is nothing I need to do to earn love"

The bliss of forgiveness

To know peace, 

we must forgive everyone,

no matter what they've done.

 

Our instinct when we get hurt is to put up walls...

as a way to avoid more hurt.

But these walls also block love and joy.

Hurt, disappointment, and rejection...

 are feelings we all get to experience.

It is not a reason to harden our hearts.

 

The bliss of loving others...

far outweighs any pain...

we may have suffered in the past.

 

*******

My living room

 

*****

The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.

Marianne Williamson

*******

 

"My heart is open"

Thinking positive

 

Each thought is precious... Our power lies in the thoughts that we choose to think today.
We can think happy thoughts. We can think positive thoughts. We can say, “Yes, I can do it!” We can think thoughts that make us feel joyous. We can learn to think only about all the good in the world... We can greet the day with a smile. We can let the world know that we’re happy to be alive. We can express gratitude at every turn. We can love our bodies. We can be our best friend...

Our reward is that we get to watch day by day as our lives turn into the most joyous, loving, healthy, prosperous, fabulous experience...

 

Louise L. Hay
*****

Imagine that your thoughts are like drops of water.

One thought or one drop of water does not mean very much.

As you repeat thoughts over and over,

you first notice a stain on the carpet,

then there is a little puddle,

then a pond,

and as these thoughts continue,

they can become a lake,

and finally an ocean.

What kind of ocean are you creating?

One that is polluted and toxic and unfit to swim in,

or one that is crystal clear and blue

that invites you to enjoy its refreshing waters?

 

Louise L. Hay

*****

 

"I will release any negative thoughts"

Stretching my wings

 

Most days, it's easy to write a blog...it just flows...but there are times such that I feel a bit uncertain...sometimes pondering over how much to share...how valuable it will be to someone else.

 

Blogging is like sharing your diary with the world. 

 

This morning feels like one of those times when the words aren't flowing. I've been in an awkward stage for a few weeks...another transition...once again stepping out of my comfort zone...teaching more workshops...taking more risks...learning through mistakes.

 

Anytime I stretch my wings, I get uncomfortable. Old feelings get kicked up...feelings of doubt...fear of failure. But the truth is this; the only way I fail is if I don't give it my best.

 

When I step into a new arena, I know I'll feel off balance for awhile...dealing with many different emotions. But I've learned that life is about taking risks. Sometimes it's not easy, but I wouldn't do it any other way. I can no longer imagine a life without purpose or passion.

 

*****

 

It is this belief in a power larger than myself...

which allows me to venture into the unknown...

~ Maya Angelou ~

****

 

 

"I will live life fully"

Gratitude

 

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes...

 

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power...”

 

Melody Beattie

******

 

Wherever I have knocked, a door has opened. 

Wherever I have wandered, a path has appeared. 

 

~Alice Walker

 

******

 

"I am blessed"

Pain and surrender

Pain has been my teacher many times.

 

I believe whole-heartedly in the process of self-examination. For me, the pain of living life as I
once did, became too great to continue. There was no more denying my unhappiness, my
discomfort with myself, and an profound ache for something MORE.

It was pain that gave me the willingness to change - to become teachable (I was stubborn). Pain brought me to my knees, again and again. It wore my resistance down. I was used to being self-
reliant - which basically means that I didn't trust anyone but myself. I had some pretty unhealthy thinking back then, but didn't know it.

Pain, along with surrender, has been instrumental in changing the quality of my life. Looking
back, I see that I not only grew from my experiences, but I thrived.

If you're going through something difficult, remember to look for the gifts - what the
experience has to teach you. Is there something you need to change?

****

The man who views the world at fifty
the same as he did at twenty
has wasted thirty years of his life.

~Muhammad Ali

*****

"Life has new things to teach me if I am open to it"

A moment I remember

The photo was taken by Kirsten Bole.

                                                      

The first homeless person I ever saw was over forty years ago.

I can still picture the old woman's weathered face...

her tattered clothing.

She touched a deep place in me...

a place of compassion.

I felt saddened by her circumstances...

and though we never spoke...

I felt a kinship with her in some odd way.

It was just a moment in time...

yet I still think of her after all these years.

Is there someone that left an imprint on your life? Maybe you helped them or they helped you...a simple smile...a hug...a kind word...

 

******

 

 

If you put your heart against the earth with me,

 

in serving every creature,

 

our Beloved will enter you...

 

we will be so happy.

 

Rumi

 

*****

 

"My purpose in life is to be of service"

A simple thank-you

If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is "thank you",

it will be enough. - Meister Eckhart

****

I often find myself saying "thank you God" throughout the day.

My gratitude isn't because God has given me all my wants and desires.

What I'm thankful for is the peace in me that surpasses my own understanding.

There's a reservoir of serenity in me...even when life gives me another challenge.

I used to chase happiness...and had many successful moments of it...but it didn't last long...it didn't bring me peace.

Peace is a priceless gift. Thank you God!!!

 

*****

 

“Silence is the language of God,
All else is poor translation.”

Rumi

****

"My cup is full"

Helping others

A poem from Wayne Dyer's book- Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. It was written by Saint John of the Cross- a mystic from the 16th-century.

 

"A Rabbit Noticed My Condition"

I was sad one day and went for a walk:

I sat in a field.

 

A rabbit noticed my condition and came near.

 

It often does not take more than that to help... 

 

to just be close to creatures

who are so full of knowing,

so full of love that they don't...

chat.

 

they just gaze with

their marvelous understanding.

 

****

 

This was a gentle reminder that sometimes the best way we can help someone is to merely listen with our hearts. 

  shadows of the trees...

deep blue skies...

*****

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living
every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."

Denis Waitley 

*****

 

"I will listen with my heart"



Everything is a gift

My aunt Merrilee (in the yellow jacket) and her friends having some girl time

 

******

Things to remember about gratitude:

If "thank you" is the only prayer you say, it will be enough.

Gratitude is the antidote for fear and anger.

Whatever you appreciate, will multiply.

Guilt, shame, anger and resentments constrict your body- gratitude opens you up.

Life happens for me, not to me.

Trade expectation for appreciation.

Don't live in lack. Treat everything you have as a gift!

******

 

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.

Helen Keller

*****

"I am grateful"

Courage

I wish I'd known from the beginning that I was born a strong woman.

What a difference it would have made!

I wish I'd known that I was born a courageous woman;

I've spent so much of my life cowering.

How many conversations would I not only started...

but finished if I'd known I possessed a warrior's heart?

I wish I'd known that I'd been born to take on the world;

I wouldn't have run from it for so long,

but run to it with open arms."

 

Sarah Ban Breathnach

****

“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz.
Learn your way around loneliness.
Make a map of it.
Sit with it, for once in your life.
Welcome to the human experience.

― Elizabeth Gilbert

*****

"As hard as some days may be, I will trust every lesson that comes to me"

Looking deeper at ourselves

We can't transform our lives through our intellect. Intellect opens the door to new possibilities, but to get results, we have to remove the barriers that prevent us from deeply learning all the wonderful ideas that wise teachers such as Eckhart Tolle and Louise L Hay offer. In other words, change comes from doing our inner working.

For example, if you don't feel worthy, all the reading material in the world won't change that belief about yourself. If you want to love yourself more, you first have to be able to identify the wounded part of you that doesn't feel good enough. It's a place you got stuck..perhaps in childhood.

Being able to see your wounded-ness is the first step...
 

I admit that looking deeper into myself wasn't fun at first. Today though, I love the journey. I'm not afraid to look at anything about myself. My goal is to be whole. To be whole, I have to be willing to heal all that isn't. The more work I do, the happier and freer I am. These days there a feeling of bliss in me. Without a shadow of doubt, I know it's a direct result of the work I've been doing.

 

I hope you find the strength and courage to learn everything there is to know about yourself. That's where your power lies.
 

*****

The world is perfect. As you question your mind, this becomes more and more obvious.
Mind changes, and as a result, the world changes. A clear mind heals everything that needs
to be healed. It can never be fooled into believing that there is one speck out of order.

 

Byron Katie

 

*****

"There is nothing I can't heal"

Healing our wounds

 

 

We all have unhealed wounds from the past.

These wounds get triggered over and over.

Ever have someone say or do something to you...

and in the following moment,

you feel 2 inches tall,

your self-worth plummeting to a dark place.

 

Unhealed wounds trigger feelings...

of shame and low self-esteem.

Until you heal these wounds,

they will rob you of the life you could have.

 

No matter how hard you may try to ignore ...

 or deny that you don't feel okay inside,

the uncomfortable feelings never leave. 

 

The truth is this:

we were all wounded in some way or another.

Because of these wounds,

we over-eat, do retail therapy, use harmful chemicals, 

choose relationships that harm us, seek validation from others,

abuse ourselves, feel angry or victimized often... 

 

We have the choice to carry these wounds to our grave...

 or to dig for the courage to face them.

 

When they are healed,

we come to know a new freedom...

a life of peace, contentment and joy from within.

 

****

 

 

To hold it in is to freeze the pain within us.

 

John Bradshaw

*****

"I am free of the past"

A new way of life

 

 

The Awakening
By Sonny Carroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on."....This is your awakening.

...slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in...

You accept the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK...and you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others.

...you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix...another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration... you recognize the importance of contributing rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."

...you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

...you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away...you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you...

You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls...and at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift...  

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name...

...you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given... You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes...

You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself"...

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment...

*****

 

 

You will either step forward into growth

or you will step back into safety.

 

Abraham Maslow

 

 

"I no longer play it safe. In order to grow,

I have to be willing to take new risks"