Trusting what life brings

Life always gives us

exactly the teacher we need...

at every moment.

This includes...

every misfortune,

every red light, every traffic jam,

every obnoxious supervisor (or employee),

every illness, every loss,

every moment of joy or depression...

~ Charlotte Joko Beck ~

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"Worry is like praying for what you don’t want"

-unknown

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"Life is on my side"

Standing up to fear

What if becoming (painfully, gut-wrenchingly...) aware of our fear is not always

 a sign that we’re far off from peace, but actually quite the opposite: a sign that

we’re actually close enough to peace to start collapsing into it, to start admitting

to ourselves or someone else how hard things have been?

How much we need Life’s hug? - Kristen Noelle

I've had a few dragons to slay (things to overcome) this year. When I chose "FREEDOM" as my goal back in January, I knew I would be faced with the things that were blocking my freedom, mainly my deepest fears...the ones I like to keep in the dark so I don't have to look at them. Well, I've seen them now and it has sucked the breath out of me, at times.

The only way I can overcome the fears that hold me hostage is to collapse into them. But first I thrash...struggle...feel victimized...get angry...until I'm finally tired enough to surrender. Then I give up my resistance, chuckle at my crazy, irrational behavior, and bask in the peace that follows. Although this process is a bit gut-wrenching, it forces me once again to dig deep for my courage and faith. When I surrender, I feel Life hugging me again.. I feel happy and safe. These hugs nourish me my soul and encourage me to stay true to my goal. FREEDOM- here I come!!!

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The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. 

 - Joseph Campbell

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"I trust whatever experience life brings me will help me evolve"

What others think

 My partner Jack, posing next to an incredible sand sculpture of a manatee. 

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 As much as I would love to say that I don’t care what others think about me, it won't be true.

I'm not at a place yet, where it doesn't affect me. But I am making progress...

baby steps...but there's still a people-pleaser in me.

The ultimate goal is to simply be myself...everywere...in all circumstances.

I’m still learning...charting through uncomfortable territory. Every day brings another opportunity

to expand or shrink. I go back and forth...two steps forward...one step back...progress, not perfection...one day at a time...things improve...I am changing.

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I don't usually take pics of people I don't know, but this was a Kodak moment
 I couldn't resist.

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“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.”

Brené Brown

"I release my fear of what others think of me"

                                            

Being good to yourself

I love this little box a friend of mine gave me. The first thing I put in it was a pink rock

shaped like a heart that I found on a beach walk.

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Have you ever noticed how certain things cause your gut to twist up? Personally, I do not like

that gut-wrenching feeling and try to avoid it as much as possible. I think though,

I used to ignore it. Now I enjoy things that free my gut from being restricted.

Here are a few of things I find gut-wrenching:

Movies with that are scary or too dramatic. I don't like sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens next any better than I like getting on a roller coaster.

Guilt- a distorted view that says I have committed a great offense... which is not true. If I do

anything that feels wrong, I make amends for it. And what happened in the past is over..done...finished...carrying guilt from the past is unneccessary.

Worry- fear of life...not putting my faith into action.

Pushing myself to do more because I don't believe that I am enough or I do enough.

Analyzing- spending zillions of pointless hours in my head trying out things I will never understand.

Hanging on when it's time to let go and move forward.

How about you? What gets you all twisted up?

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I had to get a pic of these yellow feet. It looked like someone had painted them on. 

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People who say it cannot be done
should not interrupt those who are doing it.

~ Author Unknown ~

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"I am mindful about my needs"

Infinite possibilites

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 We are in the middle of tropical storm where I live...the storm is named Debby. They spelled my name wrong, but anyways...the rain let up yesterday long enough to take a walk and assess the results of several days of strong winds and continuous down-pours. What I saw was mostly debris... branch limbs that were already dead...shaken loose from the trees.

It reminds me of how life works. Just as nature has a way of cleansing itself to make room for new growth, we too, are meant to let go of old debris. Our tendency though, is to hang on. But if we hang on too long, life will sends us our own little storm to loosen our grip.

No coincidence that this storm has my name (God has a sense of humor). It must be time to shed some old layers...bringing something new...exciting...infinite possibilities (infinite possibilities is my new favorite mantra).

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"I will keep my feet planted on the ground

and my head in the stars"



A crystal in the sand

Years ago, during a very difficult time in my life, I went to a place I always go to for comfort

 and clarity: I took a walk on the beach.

 

It was a cool, rainy day, and the clouds above hung so low I felt I could reach out and touch them.

 As I slogged through the sand, I thought about my life and the challenges I faced. With each step

 I felt the weight of anxiety that traveled with me. Then, I noticed something shiny sticking out

of the sand.

I reached down and pulled out a smooth, clear crystal with the word “lucky” lettered in silver.

 It stopped me in my tracks. A crystal in the sand polished by the sea? With the word lucky on it? Really? I wondered about the chances of finding such an extraordinary gift. I actually looked

around expecting to see an angel.

That day I made a decision to form a powerful, new belief: I am the luckiest girl in the world.

  From that moment on, every time I saw or touched that crystal (and I carried it with me everywhere), I repeated this belief over and over in my head. It wasn’t long after that my life

started to change...  Cheryl Richardson

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There are infinite possibilities...

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"I believe in miracles"

Stepping Stones

Stepping Stones by Barbara Williams

Come, take my hand, the road is long.
We must travel by stepping stones.
No, you're not alone. I've been there.
Don't fear the darkness. I'll be with you.
We must take one step at a time...
It's a long way to the other side
And there are many obstacles.

We have many stones to cross.
Some are bigger than others.
Shock, denial, and anger to start.
Then comes guilt, despair, and loneliness.
It's a hard road to travel, but it must be done.
It's the only way to reach the other side.

Come, slip your hand in mine...

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We turn to God for help
when our foundations are shaking,
only to learn it is God who is shaking them.

 Charles C West

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The joy of "Being"

 My morning view

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A beggar had been sitting by the side of a road for over thirty years. One day a stranger walked by. "Spare some change?" mumbled the beggar, mechanically holding out his old baseball cap. "I have nothing to give you," said the stranger. Then he asked: "What's that you are sitting on?" "Nothing," replied the beggar. "Just an old box. I have been sitting on it for as long as I can remember." "Ever looked inside?" asked the stranger. "No," said the beggar. "What's the point? There's nothing in there." "Have a look inside," insisted the stranger. The beggar managed to pry open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold. 

Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of Being and the deep, unshakable peace that comes with it, are beggars, even if they have great material wealth. They are looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love, while they have a treasure within that not only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.

The word enlightenment conjures up the idea of some super-human accomplishment...but it is simply your natural state... I love the Buddha's simple definition of enlightenment as "the end of suffering." There is nothing superhuman in that, is there? Of course, as a definition, it is incomplete. It only tells you what enlightenment is not: no suffering. But what's left when there is no more suffering? written by Eckhart Tolle

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I'm a flip flop kind of girl-

living in a flip flop kind of world

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“Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be.” E. Tolle

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“Is there a difference between happiness and inner peace? Yes. Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive;

inner peace does not.”  E.Tolle

"Life is perfect just as it as"

A time for reflection

"The way to express our gratitude for life is by being truly alive,
not hiding from life in a corner, or watching life pass us by.
The biggest fear we have is not the fear of dying,
but the fear to be alive, to be ourselves,
to say what we feel, to ask for what we want,
to say yes when we want to say yes, and no when we want to say no.
To express what is in our hearts is to be truly alive.
If we pretend to be what we are not, how can we be truly alive?"

Don Miguel Ruiz

" I will sit in the quiet so I may hear what my soul is whispering to me"

Being loving

We believe we are hurt when we don’t receive love.
But that is not what hurts us.
 Our pain comes when we do not give love.
We were born to love.
You might say that we are divinely created love machines.
We function most powerfully when we are giving love.
The world has led us to believe that our well-being...
 is dependent on other people loving us.
But this is the kind of upside down thinking...
that has caused so many of our problems.
The truth is our well-being is dependent on our giving love.
It is not about what comes back...
it is about what goes out!"

Alan Cohen

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When my mind is quiet...

I can hear...

the whispering voice of my heart.

"My heart is open to love"

Surrender - living in the mystery

The void is that place in our lives...

 where we've been clinging to for dear life . . .

is stripped away.

It's that place in us where we let go of what we know...

 what we want...

 and surrender to the unknown...

It means standing there with our hands empty for a while...

  sometimes watching everything we wanted disappear...

 our self image...

 our definition of who we thought we should be...

  the people we thought we had to have...

 the things we thought were so important to collect and surround ourselves with...

 the job we were certain was ours...

 the place we thought we'd live in all our lives. 

Surrender control.

 Step into the void with courage.

 Learn to say "I don't know".

Melody Beattie

 

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Quit hanging on to the handrails . . .

Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life...

Melody Beattie

 

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 "I surrender my need to know - choosing to live in the mystery instead"

Healing old wounds

Over the last several months I’ve lost almost 20 lbs. I’m not on any kind of diet, I’ve just changed the things I eat - eliminating sugar and bread. To my surprise, losing weight put me in touch with some old unresolved feelings.

As a young girl, I was  self-conscious about being too skinny (and flat-chested). On one hand, I could eat whatever I wanted - never having to worry about calories, but on the other hand, I never felt comfortable (or even liked) my body.

My recent weight loss has stirred up feelings I didn’t know I was still carrying.

This isn’t the first time I’ve discovered unhealed issues buried away. When I stumble on one, I know it's time to do some work on myself, so I'm treating this as an opportunity to spend time with my little girl who doesn't like her body...coaching her...encouraging her... helping her to overcome it.

Are you aware of any unresolved childhood issues? Perhaps old feelings of abandonment, rejection, or low self-esteem? Unfortunately, if we ignore these feelings about ourselves, it will always affect the quality of our lives. Be willing to look deeper...

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It is vitally important to start paying attention to

our inner children. It does not work, it is dysfunctional,

to deny that our childhood wounds have affected our lives.

Our emotional wounds have been dictating our lives and

keeping us from loving ourselves. 

Robert Burney

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"I love and accept all aspects of myself"

Trusting our lessons

We all have lessons...

 to learn...

 and our lessons will keep reappearing...

until we surrender...

to learning them.

What are your life lessons?

What do resist looking at about yourself?

 This is the day...

you may find the courage to surrender...
and ask...

"what my lesson is today?"

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  I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling...
...will allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid...
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise...

~Dawna Markova

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"I feel confident that all my lessons are for my best good"

 

 

Father's Day

Dad and my grandparents (mom's family)

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I want to write about my dad today, seeing that it's Father's Day, but I'm groping for words...

trying to find my truest feelings...so here goes...

Dad died 17 years ago...he played a huge part in my life. When he died, I thought 

I would die too...at least, the little girl in me thought so...I felt abandoned, afraid...

it took me a long time to work through the grief.

My last memory of dad, that I will always cherish, is holding his hand as he lay dying.

As a little girl, I dearly wanted to hold hands, but that wasn't dad's way of showing affection...

he was more apt to rub my shoulders...or playfully tease me...so it meant the world to me

 (and my little girl) to finally get my wish.

The old, longing ache to have my dad back has long since healed, as well as,

my abandonment issues. My feelings today are those of gratitude. I'm grateful for the years

I had...the memories we made...there were much laughter, many tears, and some good

arguments (we could both be stubborn).

Thank you dad, for being my father, teacher, friend...

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When I was looking for a picture of dad, I came across this old picture of me.

It was taken a few years after dad was gone.

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If you want to feel rich,
just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.

 Anonymous

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"I chose love, forgiveness, and gratitude so that I may know peace and happiness"

Soulful desires

One of the many things I love doing is creating whimsical dolls.

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We all have things that feed our soul

Here are a few of my favorites:

                   Creating something new and being happily surprised with the results

Going on a bike adventure with no particular destination

An new exciting recipe-eating healthy

A trip to the library-coming home with my arms loaded with exciting new books to read

A morning at the outdoor market-looking at flowers, fresh produce, crafts

Curling up with a good book and a bowl of popcorn

Girl time-over a cup of tea, the movies, lunch, a bike ride

The smell of a gardenia bush

Petting my kitty, giving her lots of kisses and hugs

A lavender-scented bubble bath

What feeds your soul? What makes you happy?

Whatever it is, I hope you spend lots of time doing it!!!

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To give up enthusiasm
wrinkles the soul.

~ Author Unknown ~

One of the most responsible things you can do as an adult
is to become more of a child.

~ Dr Wayne W Dyer ~

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"I open my heart and let wonderful things flow into it"

A magical life

It's been awhile since I've created any new art;

this is an old favorite.

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Are you living to up to your GREATEST potential?

I'm pondering over this question this morning...and as I think deeper...looking for my truth...

this is what I know for sure...a few years back, though I wanted to believe in myself, I struggled with fear, insecurity... A part of me knew I was capable of doing what I set out to do...which at that time was to build my own business (designing greeting cards, writing, and teaching workshops). In the process of building my business, I found hidden pockets of shame, unworthiness...it got icky for awhile...I almost gave up many times...but I didn't...I persevered...I hung in there...and I GREW.

And are you where you REALLY want to be?

For me, the answer is "I'm working on it". Even though my business continued to flourish, there came a time when my heart began to feel heavy...I lost my passion for sales, marketing...the things I needed to do to continue to be successful. I began to realize what I really began to want more was to be free...I accomplished what I had set out to do...now it was time to let go. In a business sense, it made no sense...but I've learned to listen to my intuition and follow it. 

I know the lessons I gathered through that experience were ones I really needed...like working on my self-esteem, healing some old shame, believing in myself...all priceless gifts. They didn't come easy...I had to work for them.

But now it seems I have new things to work on...I'm learning how to just BE. Not an easy task...some days I've wanted to jump out of my own skin...my old habits of busyness, being productive, doing, doing, doing...aren't easy to change. I'm learning the art of living more deeply and so far, I think it's the best decision I could have ever made for myself. So I'll keep at it...while still dabbling with my art, writing, teaching...things I love.

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Unless you start doing something different,
you are in for more of the same.

~ Author Unknown ~

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You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.

~ Alan Alda ~

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"I am grateful for the life I have"