What is intimacy?

 

It was funny watching these two. I wonder if they were having a lover's spat.

 

I've spent a lot of time thinking about intimacy and what it means. I used to believe

 that intimacy was about feeling close to someone because you got along so well with them

(and that's a good thing too). But the less I people-please these days, the more certain I am 

that intimacy is more about being yourself with people who accept you unconditionally.

I've been known to get mad, throw a tantrum or two (just ask my partner), act like a two-
 year old, say things I wish I hadn't... I am far from being perfect. But the most important
 goal is to be myself. I fear rejection as much as the next person, but I don't want to be in relationships where I have to twist myself into a pretzel to get love and approval.
 

Truthfully, I really like it when people are real with me. My philosophy is "I care about your
 feelings so please don't sacrifice them to make me happy. Let me be responsible for my
 own happiness and I will let you be responsible for yours".

What is your definition of intimacy? Are you comfortable being yourself? I would love to
hear your thoughts!
 

****

 

“About all you can do in life is be who you are.”

- Rita Mae Brown

*****

 

"I will speak with graceful honesty"



Old grudges

Loving myself means....

 

I forgive everyone.

 

Holding onto a grudge is harmful to me...

 

it closes off my heart...

 

keeps me stuck in judgement...

 

robs me of the freedom...

 

to be truly happy....

 

and at peace with others.

 

If I have a hard time forgiving...

it may not be about the other person...

but more about my ability to forgive myself.

I will remember...

 

 that everyone is doing their best...

 

no one is perfect...

 

especially me.

 

*****
 

 

He who is devoid of the power to forgive
is devoid of the power to love.

~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

*****

The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.

~ Marianne Williamson ~

 

 

"I'd rather be happy than right"

The greatest lesson of all

 

"We believe we are hurt when we don't receive love. But that is not what hurts us. Our pain
 comes when we do not give love. We were born to love... The world has led us to believe
 that our well-being is dependent on other people loving us. But this kind of upside down
thinking has caused so many of our problems. The truth is - our well being is dependent on
our giving love. It is not about what comes back; it is about what goes out. - Alan Cohen

 

****

 

So true! We must first give the love we desire to have. Energetically, what we put
 out, comes back to us. Lack creates more lack...love creates more love. It sounds incredibly
simple and it is...but if it's not the way we've used to doing it, it will require practice.

Try it for one day. Bless everyone you come in contact with. Be kind and loving, even to
the slow, old man who held up traffic and made you late for work. I promise you, by the
 end of the day, you will feel the love flowing back to you. It may not come from the same
source you sent it to. It doesn't matter. It will come... Give from your heart freely.

Remember - Love is the lesson we all here to learn.

****

 

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn

is unconditional love, which includes not only

others but ourselves as well.

 

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

 

****

 

 

"I will share my heart with others"

 

Overcoming fear

 Although we're expecting stormy weather (a possible hurricane) in my area,
(I wrote this on Mon.) all I see outside my window is sunshine and little droplets of
warm rain. I feel a small twinge of guilt that I haven't had one moment of distress over
the forecast. Whether it's faith or ignorance, it feels good.

 

 I will never forget the year hurricane Charlie came. My closet was filled with my pets,

 chocolate, other snacks, my favorite pillow and blanket, and of course, me. I was comforting
myself the best I could. I was really scared that year.

 

For some time though, I've been inching my way to peace. Quieting the inner disturbances

 that used to rob me of joy and serenity...disturbances such as worry, fear....

I'm not saying that I wouldn't head for the closet again if I needed to, but fear of life has
 lessened. First, I had to get honest with myself that I was afraid...afraid of many, many things
...and from there, I began to work on my fears instead of denying them.

Today, I am learning to trust life - to let go of fear and worry. There is great comfort in
knowing life is on my side.
 

*****

 

Where hope grows, miracles blossom. - Elna Rae

***

 

Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings
while it's still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

***

 

"I release my fears"

 

The greatest lessons

 

It is through pain that I have learned my greatest lessons.
 

 I believe whole-heartedly in the process of self-examination. For me, the pain of living life as I
once did, became too great to continue. There was no more denying my unhappiness, my
discomfort with myself, and an profound ache for something MORE.

It was pain that gave me the willingness to change - to become teachable (I was stubborn). Pain brought me to my knees, again and again. It wore my resistance down. I was used to being self-
reliant - which basically means that I didn't trust anyone but myself. I had some pretty unhealthy thinking back then, but didn't know it.

Pain, along with surrender, has been instrumental in changing the quality of my life. Looking
back, I see that I not only grew from my experiences, but I thrived.

If you're going through something difficult, remember to look for the gifts - what the
experience has to teach you.
 

****
 

 

***
The man who views the world at fifty
the same as he did at twenty
has wasted thirty years of his life. 

~Muhammad Ali
 

*****

 

 

"I am willing to change"

Flourishing in the quiet

 

She learned the art of meditation. 

She silently observed...

 

how overwhelming her life felt.

It was filled with a lot of busyness.

She slowed down her pace...

  to live more mindfully.

  She flourished in the quiet.

 

****

Waking up this morning, I smile,
Twenty four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment
and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion. 

Thich Nhat Hanh

****

Try dying every day to your old self . . .

So that you emerge renewed and young again...

 

Kristin Zambucka

****

"I will remember to savor every moment of my day"

Graceful honesty

She spoke with graceful honesty.

She gave up trying to please others...

 to become more truthful.

Her integrity earned her the trust...

 of those who knew her.

****

Better keep yourself clean and bright;

you are the window through

 which you must see the world. 

~George Bernard Shaw

***

"It's better to tell others how I really feel"

Holding love loosely

Don’t confuse love with longing.

Love is soft, bending, forgiving…

Longing is a form of neediness.

Would we think to capture a butterfly...

possibly crippling its wings...

by holding on to it with tight fists?

Love doesn’t carry a strong emotion.

It’s feels gentle, warm, promising…
 

inviting us closer with no expectations.

***

The purpose of relationship
is not to have another who might complete you,
but to have another with whom
you might share your completeness.

~ Neale Donald Walsch ~

****

"I am free and so is everyone else"

Taking the risk to love

Loving myself means...

I went in search of my heart.

It had been broken into a million pieces.

As a way of protecting myself...

I closed it off.

To feel the joy of love again...

I had to rescue it.

My heart had gone through a journey of sorrow.

I gently coaxed it back to harmony.

****

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

 

Confucius

 

****

 "Love is a gift. I will not be afraid to love"

You can do it!

 Oops!!! Was I interrupting a private moment?

Loving myself means...

I have faith in myself.

I refuse to listen to my "little self" ...

who cries "I can't do it...it's too hard".

I will not give in to fear...

fear of failure...

fear of what other's think...

and to my surprise...

fear of success.

My mantra is

"I can do it"

****
 

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.

 

Karen Ravn

****

"I believe in myself"

Creating abundance

 

Loving myself means...

I have released old negative beliefs about lack...

lack of love, money...

Today I  have a more positive attitude.

My new belief is...

"I have everything I need"

I create an abundance of happiness by...

 making healthy choices...

keeping a good attitude...

remembering "I am worthy".

*****

To be healthy, wealthy, happy and successful...

 you need to think healthy, wealthy, happy and

successful thoughts and cancel all negative,

destructive, fearful and unhappy thoughts.

These two types of thought cannot coexist if

you want to share in the abundance...

Sidney Madwed

****

"I am blessed with everything I need"

Changing the things we can

She came to know herself intimately...

by exploring...

 all there was to know about herself...

 including the good and not-so-good...

aspects of her character.

She didn't judge herself.

She merely worked on changing the behaviors...

 that no longer felt right for her.

****

“Find the love you seek...

first finding the love within yourself... 

- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

****

 “You cannot be lonely if you like the person
you’re alone with.”

Wayne Dyer

****

“I love myself for I am a beloved child
of the Universe...

Louise Hay

****

"To give love, first I must love myself"

Strength and perseverance

She knew she could fly.

Her wings grew strong and beautiful...

 through faith and perseverance.

Nothing could hold her back...

 from reaching her dreams.

She believed in herself.

****

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit
the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. 

~Maya Angelou

Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time. 

~Deborah Chaskin

***

"I have faith in myself"

Woven with love

Her new tapestry...

 was lovingly woven...

with things that were meaningful.

And though she was social by nature,

she came to appreciate her solitude...

even more.

****

pics of my new nephew Nicolas -
taken by Jessa B. photography

***

“There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein

*****

"I fill my life with meaning"

A new kind of freedom

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly,

or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. ~Chuang Tzu

She tasted a new freedom…

when she healed the abandonment...

she had felt since she was a child. 

 It erased any unhealthy attachments she once had.

 Because she no longer feared being alone...

she was truly free.

The world belonged to her…

yet she owned nothing.

****

 

 

Be content with what you have;
Rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking
  The whole world belongs to you. 

Lao Tzu

***

"I am loved and cared for always"