Making a difference

 

“The only way to gain power in a world that is moving too fast is to learn to slow down. And the only way to spread one’s influence wide to learn how to go deep. The world we want for ourselves and our children will not emerge from electronic speed but rather from a spiritual stillness that takes root in our souls. Then, and only then, will we create a world that reflects the heart instead of shattering it.”  

― Marianne Williamson

 

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It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”

Marianne Williamson

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Relationships

Caught him with his mouth full...

 

“Can the purpose of a relationship be to trigger our wounds? In a way, yes, because that is how healing happens; darkness must be exposed before it can be transformed. The purpose of an intimate relationship is not that it be a place where we can hide from our weaknesses, but rather where we can safely let them go. It takes strength of character to truly delve into the mystery of an intimate relationship...

 

Marianne Williamson

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Love this quote! Though I've invested years working on my intimacy issues, relationships still continue to baffle and elude me at times. I've made some progress. I now, have an understanding that to have an intimate relationship, I need to be patient, flexible, vulnerable, trusting, forgiving, and completely honest. I also have to be willing to face any fears I have of rejection or loss...

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The purpose of relationship
is not to have another who might complete you,
but to have another with whom
you might share your completeness.

~ Neale Donald Walsch ~
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Letting yourself shine

“A tulip doesn’t strive to impress anyone. It doesn’t struggle to be different than a rose. It doesn’t have to. It is different. And there’s room in the garden for every flower. You didn’t have to struggle to make your face different than anyone else’s on earth. It just is. You are unique because you were created that way. Look at little children in kindergarten. They’re all different without trying to be. As long as they’re unselfconsciously being themselves, they can’t help but shine. It’s only later, when children are taught to compete, to strive to be better than others, that their natural light becomes distorted.”

 

― Marianne Williamson

 

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"Nothing binds you except your thoughts; nothing limits you except your fear; and nothing controls you except your beliefs.”

 

― Marianne Williamson

Feeling good

Picture yourself as a woman

who no longer heeds

the critical voice in her head.

The volume of inadequacy has been turned down.

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"When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.”  
 
― Jodi Picoult

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Shadow work

 

 "Most of us set out on the path to personal growth because at some point the burden of our pain becomes too much to bear. "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers"(book) is about unmasking that aspect of ourselves which destroys our relationships, kills our spirit, and keeps us from fulfilling our dreams. It is what the psychologist Carl Jung called the shadow. It contains all the parts of ourselves that we have tried to hide or deny. It contains those dark aspects that we believe are not acceptable to our family, friends, and most importantly, ourselves. The dark side is stuffed deeply within our consciousness, hidden from ourselves and others. The message we get from this hidden place is simple: there is something wrong with me. I’m not okay. I’m not lovable. I’m not deserving. I’m not worthy."

 

~Debbie Ford

 

"Our society nurtures the illusion that all the rewards go to the people who are perfect. But many of us are finding out that trying to be perfect is costly."

~Debbie Ford

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Doing the work

You may wonder why I give so much time and energy to doing healing work. In my earlier years, I had resigned myself to accepting that this was all there was to life, so I had better suck it up and accept my fate, even though I was terribly unhappy. But life had a different plan for me. One day I emotionally bottomed out. After that, everything began to change. Pain opened me up a brand new world...a world I began to all in love with.

Here are some of the gifts its given me;

 A sense of wholeness, wisdom, freedom, joy...  

 It continues to fuel my passion to teach others...

A deep sense of responsibility and commitment to ending the destructive patterns that have been passed along in my family from one generation to the next...the secrets, the abuse, denial, self-rejection, emotional neglect, the festering shame and guilt that has been kept in the dark for so long. 
 

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“When we least expect it,
life sets us a challenge
to test our courage and willingness to change;
at such a moment,
there is no point in pretending
that nothing has happened
or in saying that we are not yet ready.
The challenge will not wait...

― Paul Coelho 

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Making good decisions

 

Picture yourself as woman

 

who is real

 

about what she can offer others.

 

She gives effortlessly because her own needs

have already been lovingly met.

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“Our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners”  

~ William Shakespeare

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Making changes

love taking photos of dragonflies...

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I've become aware of how often I can lie to myself-

 

lying about my feelings by minimizing them.

 

I will hear myself saying things like...

 

"it doesn't matter" or "I don't really care",

when it really does. 

By doing that, I ignore my rights, my desires, my needs...

It's a pattern I've had all my life,

making myself less important than others.

Time for change!!!

I need to get more honest and treat myself kinder.
 

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Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”  

Iyanla Vanzant  

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What I've learned

There are many ways God gets my attention. When I read this, I chuckled...
 

If I have learned nothing else...

I have learned that... 

God...
will hold me up,

sit me down,

push me forward,

pull me back,

turn me around,

 keep me in line,

move me along...

 

Iyanla Vanzant

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“Your greatest adversary is also your greatest teacher. Like it or not, it is the job of certain people to bring out the worst in you. What they trigger is already in you. They are here to reveal the sore, tender wounded places in your heart and mind, and they are providing you with a wonderful and divine opportunity for healing.”

 

I. Vanzant

 

Mindfulness

Picture yourself as a woman

 

is mindful of those who don't love well

so she doesn't set herself up

to be abandoned or misused.
 

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 “Growing into your future with health and grace and beauty doesn’t have to take all your time. 
It rather requires a dedication to caring for yourself
as if you were rare and precious, which you are,
and regarding all life around you as equally so, which it is."
 ― Victoria Moran

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Being humble

Picture yourself as woman

 

who stays beautifully balanced

with humility.

 

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“I have been driven many times upon my knees
by the overwhelming conviction that
I had no where else to go.
My own wisdom and that of all about me
seemed insufficient for that day.”  

― Abraham Lincoln

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Giving too much

 

My whole life I've been an over-giver… Over the years, I have over-given with my money, my stuff, my opinions, my time, my body…

...over-giving is not quite the same thing as generosity. Generosity is neither entangling nor aggressive, because the generous person doesn't expect anything in return. The over-giver doesn't expect anything in return either—except to be petted and feted and praised and loved unconditionally for the rest of time…
 
…sometimes my over-giving left friends feeling shamed and laid bare. Sometimes, for instance, "lack of money" hadn't been a friend's problem in the first place: Maybe her real problem had been lack of confidence or organization or motivation. Maybe by erasing her money problems, all I'd done was suddenly expose her other problems. Maybe such rapid exposure is a dreadful thing to do to somebody… All I know is, those friendships withered under a cloud of mutual discomfort, and now we cross the street to avoid running into each other.

Years ago, in India, a monk warned me, "Never give anyone more than they are emotionally capable of receiving, or they will have no choice but to hate you for it." At the time, the advice sounded cynical, even cruel.... But these days, I've come to believe that when you give heedlessly or with an agenda, you actually can give until it hurts, and that the person who is most gravely injured in the exchange is the other guy.

Don't get me wrong: I'll always be a giver. I still see generosity as one of humanity's great natural watersheds—a place where lives can be cleansed, renewed, filtered back toward grace… I've learned to watch where I step. I'm more likely to trust the well-established charities nowadays than to practice social engineering within my own circle. Granted, I don't get the same endorphin rush that I used to get by waving a magic wand in someone's face...but I do get to keep my friends now…

Elizabeth Gilbert

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A forgiving heart

Picture yourself as a woman

 

who may feel flattened at times, 

 

by judgment and rejection,

 

but she remains soft and vulnerable.

 

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The real gold in a relationship is not just how well people get along with each other, but their commitment to sustain the relationship even when things are rocky...to weather the storms...to overlook pride...to forgive easily.
With our hearts, we look deeper than the mistakes that happen along the way...the misunderstandings, the hurt feelings...

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The mirror

Picture yourself as woman

 

who knew she contained every trait

she saw in others.

She knew she wasn't better

or less than anyone else.

 

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“All my life I've thought I needed
someone to complete me,
now I know I need to belong to myself.”  

― Sue Monk Kidd

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Running from loneliness

 

One of the feelings I tried hard to cover up as a young teenager was loneliness. Being alone brought up a deep sense of shame...feelings of unworthiness. In my teenager's mind, it made me feel like a loser.

My first year of Junior High was hard. I had a bully situation that made me more afraid than I already was, to be in school. The next year my family moved to Florida and I had to start over again; new school, new friends... Then they moved again in my senior year. Being shy made it even more difficult to reach out. I also had shame about being shy, so I tried to hide not only my loneliness, but my shyness. And I still hadn't healed from being bullied the year before.

 

In later years, the feelings continued to haunt me. I hid them from myself by denying them.

No matter how full my life became with my career, marriage, having children, good friends and family, I felt alone. My wounds plagued me throughout my life, but I refused to acknowledge them. I kept myself busy instead.

There came a time though, when things changed very drastically for me. My daughter died, my brother died, my husband died, my mom died. Before that, I had lost my grandparents and my dad. I also became sick (FMS) around that time too. I was forced to give up a job I loved...one that kept me extremely busy.  

 

You might say that life forced me to be get more honest and heal my past, through crisis. Loss uncovered the things I was running from...shame, loneliness, old hurts... it stripped away the denial.

It has been a process. Not an easy one! But one that has taught me many helpful lessons...

One of them is this: grief and illness don't have to diminish your life, but running from yourself will. 
 

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"Whatever feelings we don't own,

owns us"

 

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